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shyWalker5389
2 600 M Embraced 5
PathStep 28 Compassion hearts53 Forum posts15 Forum upvotes32 Current upvotes32 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2026 Member sinceSeptember 11, 2023
Bio

Hi, I'm 20 years old and trans FTM. I'm pre T, and my dream is to start testosterone. I like art, reading, and gaming, recently I been focusing on my mental health and trying to get in a better mindset

Recent forum posts
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Starting to lose more hope
Depression Support / by shyWalker5389
Last post
 December 22nd, 2025
...See more I been feeling sad, hopeless, and empty. My grandma isn't a very nice woman, and she tries to keep me down and prevent me from doing things that should be easily accessible. She doesn't let me use the washing machine to clean clothes, and she doesn't want me using the shower that much, or the car. I can't get a job yet or have proper hygiene, and I'm just starting to lose hope of living out a somewhat normal life, because I been living like this since I was thirteen and I'm twenty now
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I'm never going to find love
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by shyWalker5389
Last post
 December 8th, 2025
...See more I don't know if this is the right place for this; if not, please tell me the right one. I'm 20 years old, trans FTM, and pre-T. I've been dating this girl for a year, but she broke up with me a couple of weeks ago, and I've been feeling horrible since. I feel like I'm never going to find someone like her again who respects my gender and cares about me like she does. Since we're still friends, she talks about her dates with other men, and it makes me feel worse and like I'm not enough. I don’t really go out either, and that's adding onto it. I feel like I'm never going to find someone because I'm trans.
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[FTM] lost and confused
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by shyWalker5389
Last post
 February 12th, 2025
...See more So I've known I was trans since age 12. I'm 18 now, and I've wanted to medically transition, but I don't know how to go about this since I don't have a job and probably won't be able to get one any time soon due to school related reasons. It feels like I'm never going to be able to medically transition and me being in a red state doesn't help I feel lost and hopeless
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Feeling stuck at my grandmother's place
Depression Support / by shyWalker5389
Last post
 October 2nd, 2024
...See more Here we go I'm back again and I've been holding this feeling in since I was 14 so here I go (sorry for the bad grammar I wrote it fast) I'm 17 years old almost 18, and I've been feeling lonely and hopeless. I have no irl friends I've never had any, and I feel like I'm wasting my life, I can't go out because of the living situation my grandmother put me in. Even when I'm 18, going out still won't be easy due to the situation. It feels like my life is going nowhere no matter what I do, I want to get a job so I can start saving up to leave my grandmother's place, but I feel like I'll never leave here. I feel stuck, and I've lost hope. It's like my grandmother tries to keep me here, she said she'll kick me out if I ever get a job, and I don't have any other place to go. I don't know what to do I'm tired, and I'm trying to learn programming to get a job in secret, but I don't know It feels like it'll never work.   I just want to give up. 
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Tired of thinking about the same thought
Anxiety Support / by shyWalker5389
Last post
 August 20th, 2024
...See more Ever since last month I have been thinking about something that worries me and I thought it would just go away, but the thought is still there and at this point I'm just tired of thinking about it, I don't want to think about this thing anymore
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A small rant any advice will be helpful
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by shyWalker5389
Last post
 April 4th, 2024
...See more So this year I'm going to turn 18, and I'm kinda excited because I can finally start ftm testosterone without parental consent, but I'm also sad and worried that I won't be able to start it because I'm broke and I don't have any type of income, and my family really won't help me afford it I'm also worried about what my family will think if I do transition my mom and sister know I'm trans, but I don't know if they'll support my transition. First post didn't have text
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I'm scared my only friend is going to leave
Anxiety Support / by shyWalker5389
Last post
 October 4th, 2023
...See more I don't know if this is the right place to say this, but I don't make friends easily I think it's hard to do and the only friend I ever actually made blocked me on everything a few days ago, they used to do this a lot more when we were younger and every time they block me I worry that they're not going to come back I care about them and love them so much, and I feel comfortable enough to tell them everything, and they tell me everything, I knew them for 4 years, but they always block me for no reason even when they say they won't leave they do they put me though a lot and said a lot of not so nice things to me, but I'm scared they won't come back they left for 4 months before and I don't want that to happen again I don't want them to leave forever I'm so worried and scared it's been affecting my dreams my thoughts and I can't get anything done really because I'm thinking and worrying about them leaving forever I'm getting tired of it I don't know what to do Also, sorry for the bad grammar.
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