Still not better
I posted my first thread on this app two months ago, I wish I could say I've gotten better but I haven't. My irl friends have started to distance themselves from me. For context, we are a trio and have been since two years ago, but now I feel like my friend has slowly started disliking me. Whenever I get happy about any of my grades they'll always tell me to stop showing off and that they got so much worse so I shouldn't be happy so honestly I dont know anymore. They've started leaving me out alot and even in school I feel constantly that im forcing a conversation on them. I wish I couldn't say the same for my online friends but it's true, 99% im always the person initiating the conversation and if I don't text first we won't talk at all. I just want someone to be my friend.
@kofailure
It's so unfair they are dismissing you and treating you in this way đź©·
You don't deserve it.
You deserve the same energy back.
@kofailure
It sounds difficult. I can imagine it hurts.
I know it’s natural to think that it means something is wrong with us in this kind of situation. It seems to me that you are not ok now - but because of the hurting, not because not being good enough.
It sounds that your and your friends paths are diverging. It doesn’t mean there is something wrong with anyone. I can understand how hard it might be for you. I am someone who wants my meaningful connections to last. I know how important it is for me. However, I believe it might be better to let go before a resentment from the hurting builds up. No need for dramatic declarations. Just internal reframing. Enjoy what is left and accept the goal of looking for new connection opportunities. Focus on understanding yourself better. The better we know what matters for us, the better are chances for attracting connections that will resonate with us well. It might mean time of confusing transition before it can meet the belonging hunger. What if we can assume the point is not to force ourselves to fit into the frame that can’t hold us anymore, but to explore the world to find environments that are good for who we are becoming?