🙂

I wonder when and why my energy shifted, is it just a part of growing up? Because lately I feel like I lost all my ambitions, charm, spirit, and excitement. I feel like I’m not fun anymore. I said no most of the time. I rejected people before I even got to know them. I don’t put effort into maintaining the friendships that I had. I stop trying to fit in. I stop trying to make a good impression. I stop trying to make people love me. I stop trying to prove myself to the world. I stop trying to figure out who I am. I stop trying to find the love of my life. I stop begging to be the footnotes in the story of someone else’s life. I stop trying to prove my point. I stop trying.

I guess it’s just a natural thing that we as humans have to go through when we get older. But until when? When will my life was supposed to start? It feels like the movie paused instead of playing. Will this be a permanent thing? How long should I wait? Should I even have to wait? Should I start doing something to gain my passion back? Or should I just make myself get used to being so lonely, in my early twenties?