Who am I?

So, I really don't know what to do, my depression keeps getting worse, I have thoughts all the time, bad ones.

I need help and I have no one.

Please help me.

I think I will.....

He just wants to keep on talking, why isn't he shutting up? I took the meds and yet I hear him, he is crying, he is hurt, I don't know, who is he? Who am I? Am I the one crying? Or am I the one yelling those horrible things? And why do I hear both of them? Am I a completely different person? Like a third party watching this man yell at this crying kid in complete darkness? I hear him crying, he won't stop, it's too dark, I can't see him, I just hear his pained cries.

Will he calm down if I stop existing? Can I stop him that way? What if I wasn't me and I was shutting myself up by stopping him? Who do I do then? Can I stop the man that is yelling at him? I have done it before, he keeps coming back, changing his face, every time he comes back the kid's crying becomes deafening, he is always crying, but sometimes I can manage, but when the man is there, the kid screams, and tries to claw his way out of my mind, is it my mind? Is the kid trying to take control? Or is he trying to escape? Am I trying to escape? The man's voice is cracking sometimes, he is crying too. He is crying too, he keeps yelling those horrible things while tears stream down his face, I can't see him, but I know that's the case, because I think he is me? Or am I him? The most awful feeling comes to me when I think that I am neither one of those? If I am not the kid, and not the man, then where is my voice? Why can't I hear me, why can't they hear me? Am I just a shell? The body where they live? When will this end?