Why Does Your Voice Scare Me Now?

I wasn't like this .. I am used to it .. I am used of watching fights , raising voices , arguments .. , mom and dad fighting and cursing eachother , mom shouting at everyone , cursing for no reason and being indifferent towards me i am used to it but it feels different now . I get anxious at raising voices , I want to cry or leave the space .. i just want to silent all the noises they made ... I want to have a normal family yeh mine is too but not often .... but i can't stop them i can't tell them to keep quite or pleaseeee don't fight !!! because even if i do they ignore or keep doing that and when i cry in front of my mom she curses me saying " DON'T TRY TO GET ATTENTION " , yeh maybe  i am trying to get attention.. i never get from u but i don't want it i guess , i don't know but even if i try to not get effected it still hurts when u talk to other kids or anyone or everyone so sweetly but not to me ... But i can't do anything about this bcz this is us ... its okay i will be fine and used to it soon .... But it hurts bcz i wasn't this sensitive but now even when their is little rise in tone i get anxious and restless and all i could do it lock myself in room and try not hear... and cursing myself bcz I feel worst in myself bcz of ur words ... I know this is stupid but what can i do ? this is me ... weird and stupid and weak maybe ... I DON'T KNOW but its feels like a fact .