Work Woes
I've been doing a lot better, but I think my job is triggering my depression, but I'm not 100% sure why. Maybe it's all the overtime? Maybe it's because I'm working nights and I'm not getting enough vitamin d? Or maybe this is just the normal "I hate my job and don't want to be here"?
I had been looking forward to my weekend, but forgot I had agreed to a double shift today, and the realization actually depressed me. I'm not even mad in a "ugh, darn, I don't want to be here!" kind of way, just more like an angsty almost "sadness".
Wait, I think I know what it is... I think I just don't want to stay in this field longer than I have to. I've been thinking about shooting for my dream job in a few months after I've saved up some and paid off my credit card. I think I still struggle with feeling like a "failure" because I haven't obtained my dreams yet, and my biggest fear right now is that I never will, because my dreams feel like they're getting further and further away. I have to work harder and harder to reach the goal, and I don't want to.
@HidaYasu
Sorry you are going through this i think many of us can relate that sometimes we are in a job we do not really care for ....it is draining and yet we tell ourselves when X happens or Y happens we will make the change or apply for other items.
I have literally seen people at jobs for years as the goal line keeps moving....and their ideas or plans seem farther and farther away ........ apply often just to see what is out there ... find things you may not even have known were jobs/ opportunities ....... when you do you feel hopeful and even like buying a lottery ticket you can dream what if....
it is great to have everything paid off and we think taking all the OT we can get will do it but for many it is NOT worth the mental toll and many spend something on themselves to justify all the hard work but in fast that puts them right back into not progressing on their payoff plans.
Even if you start to apply or look into a new job path sometimes an application made me feel hopeful and an interview even more so i did not need to be offered the job but felt the sense of progress just submitting the application .......... many people do not even do that.
@toughTiger6481
Lol I am terrible with spending, but I've actually gotten a lot better in the last six months. Once my card is paid off, I'll be able to start living within my means, and only use cards for emergencies. I'm actually doing much better on my spending now.
But that's interesting you brought that up. I guess it does give a bit of a confidence boost when other companies say they want you. Lets you know you're still skilled/relevant/what have you. Mine's a little different in that it would be freelance, sorta, but it's still something I want to do. But I guess I feel like the clock is ticking and I need to hurry and "start" before I get complacent and end up not doing anything.
@HidaYasu
You hit nail on head being complacent is why some people will be just where they are forever always wondering what if ..........
