😞ally

so my name is Alizé and I am battling something that’s so traumatic that I can’t seem to get over and some days it hits me really hard. I’m only 25 and I’m feeling like my last option is to you know what myself.. I’ve experienced abuse at a 21-23 by a guy I met who was very deceiving and I fault myself because I knew what it was but my Brian was so confused on all the things he was doing.. the emotional confusion of one day we good and the next we not. This guy was only 19.. he lied about his age at such a late time that I didn’t think it was a big deal. This person has ruined my brain. My mental health. My way of living. People say turn to therapy but it truly don’t help me. It only makes me open up old wounds. I’m hurting see down inside and I believe in God , I really do , but this pain is following me into a dark space. It’s starting to take over bc I feel so stupid. I feel like my life is over and then he makes me feel like it’s not a big deal bc it’s the past but my brain has permanent damage. I’m in Texas and I barely leave the house bc all I think bout is the places we been together.. it interrupts my day to day. I feel so awful tht I met someone who is this evil to even do these things to me and I’m trying to fight this feeling everyday but it’s so hard. It’s SO HARD. I am tired of crying. I’m tired of feeling this way. I just want it to end.. I can’t help but feel pain.. he cheated on me , hit me, called me names, the family of his did damage too. I just have so much anger and hurt.. and nobody calls to check on me so I swallow ts. I’m just over it. My brain is so filled.