am I using my depression as an excuse?
i have major depression disorder since about 4 years.
today while I was talking to my mother she kept telling me all the exercises i should do for my mood to be better. i asked her, that when most of the days i don't even feel like getting out of my bed and all my energy goes into doing basic things of my day, how do I exercise inspite of that. she says I should increase my stamina and I'm having a wrong approach. "when you feel like not getting out of bed, that's when you should get out of bed" was what she said. but i couldn't explain how physically overpowering that feeling was.
i have a bad relationship with exercise. when I was at my lowest, my family woke up me up early in the morning to go "jogging" when i was barely getting through time. when i didn't agree, there was conflict about how I was lazy, arrogant and stubborn. i also became very conscious of how I looked.
which is why maybe it just feels weird anytime anyone asks me to just go exercise.
but what if that's whats I need? what if I'm actually being stubborn because I don't want them to be right? because that means they'll be right about the other things to? all the bad things..
idk if anyone will read this. but just putting it out there I guess.
what if I'm too comfortable. what if I've let go of things I could do because there is label I can use now? something to blame?
but how do I explain not letting anyone around me know about it?
mind is a weird place.
@brightLemon4569 I believe your family's intentions are good, but maybe they do not fully understand how the depression works. It's not your muscles, what is malfunctioning, but the chemistry in your brain. So, it's difficult to use a "control center" which is broken down.
I've read in a book about depression recently that such misconceptions are quite common among people who didn't experience such disorder themselves.
However, there is some feedback possible between your brain and your emotional or spiritual life. When your depression makes you sad and useless, good emotions or faith may blunt depression's edges. So, when you find something (other than jogging) that makes your life more meaningful, it can be good for you.
thank you for validating my experience.
hoping i find that something meaningful :)
@brightLemon4569
I can understand people offer up suggestions including exercise ...
I think people mean well and think exercising can increase your stamina and release chemicals in your body to lift your mood etc.
When in a deep depression we want understanding and might be a bit reluctant because even if it lifted us for a short time we might get the i told you so and then the self blame of why did i not try this sooner etc. only way to see if it might be helpful is try it on your terms not because they said so.
yeah I guess. i think i just don't want to care of anyone does say I told you so or I self blame. i just wanna feel better.
but thanks for understanding. it really means everything.
