a pit

hey. i feel nothing almost. maybe a bit of sadness. i’ve found that there are a few things that can trigger my emotions. good series. very rarely sometimes my friends. but most of the time i’m just numb. to everything. i have been numb. but also sad? idk how to describe it. i’m so tired of it. i’m also so tired of me. people go through so much. so so much. how dare i ever say i have it bad? why do i feel so sad when there is nothing making me sad? why do i feel so numb? im trying so hard to cling to this life but its just so exhausting. i lost all passion and purpose. i lost everything. i lost myself. i lost who i was. i lost what shaped me. how can i go on when i don’t even know how to? when i don’t know who i am anymore? i’m a pit where good things fall into. no matter how much i try…im never happy. i’ve never been happy. i don’t believe in happiness. i don’t believe in better. diane reference. bojack horseman. one of the series that triggers my emotions still. beautiful.