curiosity

this had been a question for me for a few years now. if most people start to struggle from a young age.

i am now a teen, i'm in middle school. and i have been struggling with severe depression for a few years now, along with persistent suicidal ideations and multiple other mental illnesses, which i know i won't ever act on, yet it still crosses my mind every day without a second rest. been like this, ever since turning 11 to be exact. and for all my life, i had the "everyone's struggling, your pain is nothing compared to theirs, and look how they're doing absolutely fine? just act normal like everyone else. stop being such a whiny little child" mindset. as if that wasn't enough, i have never been in any healthy friendships in real life, which makes the condition even worse. and big holidays like Christmas is not the same, like, all the warmth is gone before i could fully enjoy it consciously.

what i'm trying to say is, i feel like my childhood's been ripped away from me. and i wonder if anyone else feels the same? if it's truly common? thank you for making time and reading all this nonsense. i appreciate you all.