lost messages

a lot of the time i write text messages but never end up sending them. whether it’s because im not talking to this person anymore or im overthinking. but the message remains in my notes app forever. i thought id paste the one i wrote today. feel free to reply with any lost messages of ur own-id be interested to read them.

i realized how long its actually been on a random thursday night. yesterday. i knew its been a month. but i didn’t realize that almost two months have passed now. it didn’t hit me how long it actually was until yesterday when i checked the date. it made the possibility of u coming back fainter. quieter. like it’ll never happen. because how could u when too long has passed? how could u when u didn’t all this time? i couldn’t tell the time. its like it was all just a long exhausting day. it’s like it was just yesterday when we talked and i just realized that it wasn’t. i thought by this point id have let go. i’d have moved on. but i didnt. and idk how to. it’s only a matter of time before u block me. i just don’t know if ill be ready for it by then. i finally realized that you’ll never reply. that you’re okay with leaving things be. with leaving things unsaid. with letting ur silence speak so loud. with letting ur silence hurt me. ur okay with that. maybe ur not. maybe ur just like me. maybe u didn’t even realize how long its actually been too. but i cant think that way because if i did ill just be holding onto hope. and hope is so cruel to me. because its never actually true.