rambling

i’m literally so done with life. my mind never gets better. no matter how hard i try. no matter how many times i have good days. they’re so rare and i treasure them so much but i hate them because they give me hope every time. every *** time. it’s so exhausting and it’s so draining. every time i go back lower and emptier and number. i expect it every time but it still hurts every single time. i lost all my passion and purpose in life. i’m so done.