sigh

i believe this is the kind of depression where you just feel empty. sooo so empty. my one and only lifeline has left me. i cant summon the will to do anything. and this is the most important year of my studies. ive accepted that i will fail everything and end up jobless, and die quickly if there's any mercy. the only thing stopping me from hastening the end is my family's view on taking your life. its stupid, i can't get in trouble if im a corpse can i. but it bothers me, knowing my whole family will talk about me in gossip forever. i would need to make it look like an accident. and i dont know how to do that right now.

so i guess ill stay here rotting on the internet in my bed.