what is love?
hey everyone. i wish u a lovely day. i once mentioned how i believe hope is one of the worst emotions one could feel. today i came to the realization that love is also one of the worst emotions. so i came to share my thoughts.
i think love is one of the worst emotions anyone could feel. not because its bad when u feel it. no it’s beautiful. it’s so beautiful. to love and cherish someone. to see a person so lovely. not even romantically could be platonically. it’s beautiful. until it’s not. i think love can hurt the most. i think people can turn in a second. someone you once knew. someone you loved and cherished and told you darkest secrets to. they can change. not even in a bad way. just pulling away. distancing themselves. maybe they believe ur just drifting. that this is a part of life. u try to hold on to ur friendship . u text and ask them about their life and how they’re doing. u tell them u miss them and love them. u constantly invite them to go out. they keep u hanging on from a thread. reply once. saying they miss u so much. saying they love you. saying they don’t want to lose you. but they never really follow through. they continue ignoring u. they ignore any attempts of reconnection. they never join during hangouts. always say they’re just busy. days turn to weeks turn to months. ur friends tell u to just let go. and u do for a while. u try to forget about them. enjoy ur other friends. when u think of them u try ur hardest to not text. but sometimes u do. sometimes ur consumed by ur love to them that all u want to do is pour ur love into someone who just isn’t there anymore. then they’re back. for one message. only one. telling u they love u and miss u. so ur back to square one. if they truly loved me why are they pushing me away? why would they ignore my attempts to reconnect and never ever try to reconnect themselves? every time i try to distance myself something latches on to my heart. love. love does. that’s why i believe that love is the worse emotion. because if i didn’t love these people then i wouldn’t even think a second thought about them. i would let them push me away because i wouldn’t care. but loving them hurts. it hurts so much.
@pluckyCoconut4376
Hate burst in with muddy boots,
Shook the walls and cursed the light.
Love just sat there with its roots,
Holding everything upright.
"You're too weak," Hate spat with fire.
"You forgive and they still leave."
Love poured tea and whispered, "Tire
Yourself out. I never grieve
the way you think. Sit down. Rest.
Tell me what made you so mad."
Hate collapsed upon Love's chest.
"I was you when life went bad.
I was born the night you cried,
Called for help and no one came.
I'm the part of you that died.
I'm the ash. You're still the flame."
Love held tighter. "You're my child.
How could I not see your face?
All these years you've run so wild,
Trying to protect this place."
Hate looked up with wet red eyes.
"You're not angry? Not ashamed?"
Love just smiled at the disguise.
"You're just love with a different name.
You're the armor when it's cold.
You're the wall when war begins.
You're the story never told
of where love goes when it wins
by surviving, by staying hard,
by refusing to be soft.
You're the one who stands on guard
when I've been wounded and aloft."
Hate grew quiet. Melted slow.
Turned to warmth against Love's skin.
"All this time I didn't know
I was love. Come. Let me in."
woah. this is beautiful. thank u so much. really shows how there’s a thin line between love and hate and how they’re the same. i love it thank u
@pluckyCoconut4376
I'm glad it reached you. You're right. Love hurts. But that's not because love is bad. It's because love is real. And anything real can break. The people who pulled away? They're not monsters. They're just hurt too. They love you. They just don't know how to hold on while hurting. That hate you feel? It's not the enemy. It's just love wearing armor. Trying to protect you. One day you'll feel neither love nor hate toward them. Just peace. Just gratitude for what was. Just acceptance for what wasn't. That's not giving up. That's growing up. Keep loving. Even when it hurts. Because the only thing worse than loving and losing is never loving at all. Take care of that heart. It's the only one you've got. And thank you for your words. They made me feel less alone too.
thank you so much. i can’t thank u enough for ur words they touched me and i appreciate it so much more than i can ever show. this is so beautiful. i wish u a lovely life💕
@pluckyCoconut4376
I know the pain of loving someone, tasting the happiness and then the brutal pain (in my case hearing they whisked they never knew me).
It took me years to heal and is still quite sensitive.
I had a moment in my live I stopped believing in true love. When being in love seemed to be a cruel joke. Yet I got to meet someone who melted in me this cynicism. It’s not exactly romantic. I can see how it could turn into a deep pain. In our case, I know that I can’t expect him to stay available for me forever. The only thing I believe I can count on is that he will never say he wishes he never knew me. And it’s a lot for me. And for now, I get to enjoy a friendship with a beautifully emotionally mature man.
Even with that belief, I began to understand that I need to be able to stand on my own. In theory, I need to be able to hold my truth. About this being a kind of love for me. It might fade over time, he might pull away… but it will remain as a memory of love.
In your context it makes sense to question what part of love is real. What is just a wish. To not stay in love with just a wish. To set the bar for what do you expect a real love to look like coming from the other person… I would think it might be very different from those confusing messages.
Thoughts?
thank u so much. ur right. i think what u said makes sense on who i want to accept in my life and what not. not because they’re bad people but because of what i think id be able to handle in love. and how they show it. i think its beautiful also how u can just accept that the love is there for now even if it wont be there always. if it’ll fade. i hope someday i can think the same.
I am happy to see my message makes sense. What you wrote about what you want to accept in your life is very healthy way to see it. It might not change how you feel right away. But it might give you the control back on where you will take it from here.
I would love to hear more about how you feel now.
i feel a little lost. i’m already going through a lot mentally. to have people so important to me push me away really sucks. i don’t really know what to do. do i stop texting? keep my distance? call it a day on our friendship? for now i’m taking it a day at a time. doing what’s comfortable for that day. what feels right then. but nothing really feels right anymore.
@pluckyCoconut4376
I think this might be one of the best way to deal with it. Observing how it feels for you one day at a time. It sounds like you are learning about yourself through your feelings. If that is the case, then it is natural to not be instant. It’s a lot considering how big the feelings are. Could it be a journey? A one that you are not sure where it leads. It’s not pleasant now. But you are staying with yourself through this. If you can learn a smallest thing, then it’s your win. It can compound.
It will be up to you to find your answers. I might suggest that sometimes the answer is neither of what we consider at the beginning. Maybe it’s neither pushing for contact or cutting it off completely? Maybe it’s accepting what you see and adjusting expectations?
Like: I care more. It doesn’t mean they don’t care at all. I am just not able to tell if they care less or just pretend. I can choose to ping them but I need to be ready for them to ignore me. I just prioritize investing in finding more available and reliable connections.
Now, are those kind of questions useful for you? It would be totally OK if you needed different kind of presence now.
i really like ur approach thank you. i think thats what im doing right now. im not cutting off or anything ive just taken a step back. not to punish them just for myself to assess how i feel. thank you i can’t thank u enough. you’ve helped me so much
I just want you to feel steadier. I believe you have good intuition of what you need. You are testing it. I hope you will find it slowly shifting towards more clarity and confidence.
