Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

I tried group chat today and found it a complete waste of time and energy (no offense). It was too fast paced for me and I felt like there were people with a lot of mixed emotions... Some were angry, sad, and some were just outright vicious and attacked other members. There were so many people shuffling in and out it was hard to have a deeper conversation and uncover reasons behind their emotions. Plus some rooms had unregistered guests who maybe weren't aware of 7cup's acceptable behavior (common courtesy, support, open mind, etc.) I now only refer people to either the forums or 1-on-1 with a listener.

I feel well today. For the first time in a long time I woke up feeling something close to happy. I didn't wake up and immediately want to go back to bed.

I feel like I need help. I feel like I'm drowning and there's no point in trying to swim. I need to pull myself together and get over this.

I am drowning, an replica of JOKER.

I feel like the worlds a black hole heading straight to hell!

Emotionless

Abandoned. Not good enough.

I feel like that bug that can't get picked up by a vaccum but gets away before its picked up by a napkin. I'm so close to death. It stays on my mind 24/7 .

I feel foolish for believeing I could be happy. I feel sad because that happiness is gone. I am tired of always hitting Rock bottom. Scared to start over again.

I feel like as if I'm on the verge of anxiety :-/