Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

Today I feel....I don't know...sad? It's like whenever someone is around me I'm okay, not happy, but I'm also not sad. Then they leave and my depression suddenly envelops me and I'm sad again.

I have intrusive thoughts during the day and by night it only gets worse and my anxiety shoots through the roof..... that is my daily life :)

Unmotivated to participate in life.

Ok, not great pretty crap actually

Decent enough.

When I started: Helpless

After joining: Glimmer of hope

Now: I feel like I have someone that actually listens.

numb

I feel that my existence is irrelevant and idk why I'm here. When I reach out and talk to my friends I know they understand and care but I feel pathetic for talking about my problems at all. I feel like it's childish and Im19 I feel like I need to grow up and stop feeling/acting this way

Feel like running away from all my problems...

To be honest horrible I feel so depressed I can't move.