Hello depression community, this is tough
Hi all,
I realy struggle to do things like this, so if you don't mind im going to start by just typing my train of thought (sorry for spelling punctuation in advance). I am upset with myself for thinking i am depressed. really i am part of the luckiest group of people on the planet, i have it all going for me, and i just f*cking squander it. I live in a great town,work an ok job that pays a bit above ok...and give me the opertunity to make friends and grow a businees. but i waste it again, i have been given so many lucky oppertunitys that i have f*cked, and i dont know why. i live alone, have few to no friends, and more often than not, when i go to sleep i don't really care about wakingh up... My life could be so easy and i manage to fuck it up and cant even make myself care about it enough to do the few easy things that could make it all better. sometimes i dont even think i deserve to live for the ammount of shit i waste.
K
Hey there iamkai,
There is so much I want to immediately say to you so what I'll do is start from the top and work my way down. I hope that's alright.
You've nothing to apologize for. Punctuation and Spelling isn't a big issue at all -- so no need to apologize there.
Now on to what I really want to say:
Just because you are 'lucky' in life, does not mean you aren't allowed to feel depressed. Depression isn't always due to circumstance. It can be because of many reasons -- that's why it's a complex topic. You've nothing to feel bad about for how you feel. There is nothing wrong with how you are feeling.
I don't think you waste anything. By the very fact that you're reaching out right now shows that you are trying -- that isn't being wasteful. That is being proactive. That is being strong. And that is fantastic.
You do deserve to live and I really hope that we are all able to help you.
Please, if you ever feel like you need to talk to any of our Listeners (myself included), then don't hesitate to reach out to us.
We all care for you.
Hi Kai,
I really relate if you are feeling like you failed yourself. I too feel like I screwed up when I could do so much better with what I have/had. I often feel that I don't have much to live for and don't want to wake up in the morning. Doesn't life feel so meaningless? I recently started therapy, but I am not hopeful. I am not being much help to you here, but please know you are not alone in your agony. Feel better.