My personal struggle with depression. Share your story struggling with depression here! All welcome
My personal struggle with depression. Share your story struggling with depression here! All welcome
I don't think anything triggered my depression, but it started early-mid march last year. Happy anniversary?
Hi! I'm new here. I've struggled with depression for 15 years now. Never diagnosed, no therapy, no medication. This is really my first time reaching out in any way.
@Nothingfromnowhere
Hi I really feel for you, but you have taken the first step towards healing by looking for someone to talk to. Do you have a close friend that you can share your feelings with
@lightKite6232
Thanks for your response.
Not really. I have a few friends but they don't really understand. Every time I try to talk about it kind of gets laughed off and the subject gets changed.
@Nothingfromnowhere Tell us your story. We ALL have one. Some not as bad, some worse. I'm here if you need me. 😉
Thanks @GarbagePusherD6T
We'll my problems started when I was 12-13. I started feeling depressed and had no one to talk to. I started punishing myself with various forms of self harm, mainly cutting. I cut for 3 years in complete secret. Sometime in that period I became suicidal. I tried to kill myself several times. After a failed attempt I reached out to my parents saying I needed help. My mom (who has her own problems) called 2 places, neither that had a bed for me. She broke down crying and my first instinct was to comfort her. I lied and told her I'd be fine. So the one time I really asked for help and my mother didn't help me get it. I went back to hiding everything. They assumed I was a moody teenager. I moved out as soon as I could and my mom assumed that since she didn't see it, I had beat all my problems, then took credit to the rest of my family for my strong will. Many good things have happened, I met a amazing woman, we've been together for almost 9 years now. I can talk to her sometimes, but I know how my depression affects her, so sometimes to spare her, I again hold back. Through her I have found a nice family. Her parents are amazing to me and her brother is one of my few friends. But again, I feel like i burden them. My depression never went away, just lessened for a while. I started working out, I was taking good care of myself, then I lost my job. I was unemployed for 4 months and I went right back to feeling like a worthless helpless teenager.
@Nothingfromnowhere
Ran out of room haha
I became super isolated a fell back into self harm. I got two jobs, one an unpaid apprenticeship in a field that could be a potential career. I was scared but excited for this change. At first I had some anxiety but mostly it felt good getting back into the world connecting with people. I was working 7 days a week. I have continued this schedule for a year in April. To say I'm burnt out is an understatement. And this entire time my mental health has just deteriorated. Again, I am self harming, having constant panic attacks, radical mood swings, bouts of extreme sadness, and just in the last month have developed an eating disorder. I feel like everything is falling apart. My family knows somethings really wrong, but they don't have time and don't understand when I do try to talk. I realized yet again, I need help. I've been looking into therapy but the schedule I'm on and the lack of funds are making it tricky. But even just talking on here for the last couple days has helped. Thank you for letting me share.
@Nothingfromnowhere
That's not very nice. I get depressed too and I feel that when I talk about it that it really helps. I will listen to you if you want to talk. I definitely won't laugh.
@Nothingfromnowhere such a long time trying to fight it yourself. I am in the same boat as you. Reaching out and trying to find help. I hope we find it.
@heartlocked
HI heartlocked ❤
It really has been a long time, I'm sorry to hear it's the same for you. If you want to share your story or ever need to talk, I'm here for you!
@Nothingfromnowhere thank you. I am here for you too. To talk and just be here.
@Nothingfromnowhere. Hi there, welcome to 7 cups, glad you have reached out, that is difficult to do, high 5! That a really brave thing to do! I have been a member here for about a year, and there are many compassionate and kind people here who will give you the support and encouragement you need in whatever you are struggling with ! Wishing you peace!
@jr50 thanks so much. I'm already finding many helpful people and this is a great community. I'm already glad I gave this a try. Thank you
@Nothingfromnowhere. Your welcome.
Im glad i can say i have overcome depression. It all started in 8th year of highschool when my only friend started ignoring me with another girl, using me and in some way making fun of me. Apart from that i wouldnt go out of my house on the weekends and i saw everyone on the internet having fun when i was at home and that made me so lonely. It also "helped" depressing me seeing that other people in highschool made fun of me almost everyday. I was depressed for like three years but then i met "him" and all my loneliness dissapeared. He treated me so good, he made me confident...and now i he isnt my actual boyfriend but i know i wont forgive him and what he did for me.
Where to start. My depression started when I was 5 which lead to self harming and other obstacles. Given that I'm also bi, I faced a lot of bullying and loosing my mom added to the pile of issues that i Never wanted to deal with as a teen. As I got older I began to understand myself and learned that I had to make a stand and give up the things in life that were holding me back from being happy. I gave up the self harming and I talked to someone on 7 cups who changed my life. There's no better feeling then that moment when a weight is lifted off your shoulders and your able to be happy for the first time. Now I can enjoy life to the fullest and give back what that listener gave me: the courage to slowly overcome the problems I had. ^-^
@Emory20 I am so happy you found that understanding here. I am hopeful maybe I will find it here. Trying to fight it is near impossible on your own.
@heartlocked Hugs Heart you will definately find it here. You can join forums where you can meet like people over here. You may also chat to any of the listeners here including me whenever you feel a need to talk to somebody. We all are here to support you.
@sujaypai *hugs* thank you so much. I have been here for almost 5 days and already feel a litttle better. I am so happy I found this app. I have met others who are just like me in different different situations. I am able to talk openly in the chat rooms. Everyone has been so supportive. It helps to know you aren't alone.
It started the day i saw the man i loved in the arms of someone else. That day, i understood why people kill themselves after a heartbreak. It's not my case, but i can see why. It feels like something died inside of me that day.
I actually don't know if I'm depressed but I started feeling like it in 4th grade actually and I still have it now
As I started talking to my therapist about my childhood, I came to one conclusion and she confirmed it. My depression started when I was 8 years old. On that year, 3 people close to me died in 1 month and some relatives didn't bother to help me learn how to grief. I got told I was "too young to understand what death is, and that they wouldn't affect me at all". My grandmother passed away and I was in shock. One week after, the school principal told us that a teacher had died and when I realized was my favorite teacher ever and that she had took her own life, I was in a complete shock - again. Then 2 weeks later, another death in my family. That one didn't hit me like a million bricks, like the other 2. I was "numb" to pain by then.
I didn't really connect this and everything else back then, with my depression. I never thought a child could get depressed, because I did play and laugh after that, but was sensitive and would cry really easily (specially in my room, at night).
I mean... it isn't supposed to be "normal" for a 8/9 year old to hide in the school playground to cry. I'd hide in all corners and pretty much cry and calm myself down afterwards, or just sit there for the 30 minutes of recess, and avoid all other kids. Then when recess was over, sometimes they'd ask me if I had been crying or why my eyes were red. "I have a cold" was my answer. Not once did they doubt it. Everytime I remember how I knew all the right places to cry and not be caught, I feel bad... because my biggest fear was being seen as "weak".
@givemecoffee I understand depression well. I was on the verge of taking my own life back then (17 in 12th grade. I'm now 32). Extremely extremely scary feeling. I got help. Couldn't take it anymore. I'm here if you need me. 🙂
I am facing a hard time lately. College is taking so much of me, and I feel like sleeping during all my free time. Most of the time I do sleep a lot. My health is terrible, and I don't know how to help myself. My parents is the reason all of this started. My mom made me obsessed with my weight and looking perfect, and my father made me want to be perfect all the time. I feel like I don't know how to treat myself well. I week help almost 2 years ago but today I think I am the same.
@fearlessJar1329 Hugs Jar. It seems you are dealing with many issues including body image issues and compulsion to do things perfectly. I can understand the amount of pressure it puts up on you and emotionally drains you. I am happy you have taken a step to speak up on it as talking really helps and you are at a right place. Here on 7cups you may join forums or have discussion with like people in chat rooms. In case it is very overwhelming you can even talk to a listener here and vent your feelings. You aren't alone the entire community is here to support you. Take care.
Hi, my name is Beth and I'm currently diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety and PTSD. My journey started around the same time that I joined these forums as a member and later became a listener. I was hospitalized in January, but the good news is that I was fully invested in my recovery and participated in everything the doctors, nurses and staff wanted me to do at the hospital and continue to try to use good coping mechanisms. - deep breathing, mindfulness, and yoga. I am on my third counselor and just lost my job this week, so she was there to help me through that. I'm kind of at a loss at the moment for words. But, I'm here, and I'm alive. :)
@BriteDay78 love your words :) needed them
[[LONG POST ALERT]]
Hello, I'm Laura.
I haven't told anyone about my (potential) depression before, because I have never met anyone I believe that I can truly trust. Anyway:
I'm 16, and I started to feel generally down a few years ago, when i entered secondary school. Before then I was generally positive about things, but when i moved schools, i had to move away from all my friends, and my new school was also a long way from my house, so i had no-one i knew living near me. This meant that i began to dislike school life, and i found it very hard to make friends.
Once i had actually plucked up the courage to talk to someone, i found that i had more friends than i could have ever hoped for, but this didn't last long. There seems to be some unspoken tradition at my school where every inset day (day off) in the summer, large groups would go to Thorpe Park (a large theme park with pretty cool rides). Well, one summer's day, i overheard my friends planning one of these trips for themselves, and i asked what they were doing. They all looked at each other, and then said "nothing". The day before the inset day, some of the girls in the group before asked my if i wanted to go, saying that they were inviting me because they "needed one more person for the group ticket". By this time, it was too late for me to make plans, because my mum is quite strict about me going out, so i had to decline. The girls then said "oh,well, we'll just ask (name) like we planned before". This made me feel really worthless, and i started doubting whether they were my friends or not. Not suprisingly, after the inset, i stopped talking to them, but they either didn't notice, or they just didn't care.
The next few years had the same kind of events, and i went through many different groups of friends. This meant that i had very few people i could just talk to, (except one friend, my friend Rosie, who has been with me through high and low, no matter what) making my school life a struggle to say the least. Group activities and sports were hellish things i had to enduer weekly, and when school ended each day, i had a long journey home to make by myself, while most others could walk at least part of the way with one of their friends. These extended periods of time just meant that i had a lot of time to dwell on my thoughts, and it wasn't long until i began to self harm as a way to relieve myself of my emotions. This led to me being severly punished by my parents once they found out, and this put me into a vicious circle of punishment and depression and self harm.
Now i have a few friends who i get along with, but i frequently feel worthless and try to isolate myself, and i also sometimes wish that i could just end it all. I regularly have mental breakdowns, and i dont think my mental state has got much better because of the exams looming, but oh well.
Sorry for the long post, I just had a lot to get off my chest :P
