Not quite sure of myself
I'm very happy that I found this app/website. It has helped me more than I have ever wished for. People and listeners are so incredibly nice and helpful and I just can't believe that something this good actually exists. But, a problem I face with this, is I feel obligated to use it every single day. My mind just screams at me saying that I've been faking my whole illness(es) because I don't need help every single waking moment. Sometimes I can make it through the day without needing a shoulder to lean on, but those days often have their downfalls because I'm immediately thinking and overthinking about how I'm just a liar and a fake and an insult to every, and anyone with a mental disorder/illness. And then comes the thoughts of my self-doubt and pity. I feel as if I'm a terrible person because my brain just tells me I'm making all this up to get more attention. I feel like a pathetic waster of space and air and I have no reason or desire to live. It's honestly frustrating because I just want to be okay for one day and when I think I actually am, it goes straight to hell and I end up being worse than the day before.
Hi! I'm a new user as well, and I have experienced the exact same thing that you're describing. Those negative self-thoughts are so persistent and so awful! I guess I would say, try to remember that other peoples' experiences of illness don't negate or qualify your own. We all experience things differently- think of it like a rollercoaster. Just because you don't pass out on rollercoasters doesn't mean that you don't have a valid reason not to like them. In the same way, you and I don't have to be non-functioning for our mental illness to be real, distressing, and worthy of care. Feeling better is the end goal here, so celebrating your good days isn't selfish, and neither is being honest about when you need help.
Just because you don't need the site everyday doesn't mean your mind is faking your illness or your pathetic. Everyone is different, some people can handle these things better than others but it doesn't mean your better or worse than them your just wired differently.