One thing I am feeling sad about today is...

That the management company of the apartment building I live in is so uncaring that they are aware I am in financial crisis due to a medical disability issue and I am awaiting insurance benefits but are moving forward with kicking me out. I am broke and having to get food from charity food pantries and have not been able to return to work yet. To make it even harder it is Thanksgiving and my birthday. My world is really messed up....I am so depressed and my anxiety is through the roof. Helpless and hopeless 😩 doesnt even begin to describe how I am feeling.

I live abroad with my SO and his mother. Some days I completely regret moving here. There's nothing for me here. I feel lonely all the time, dependent, and not in control. I despise the lifestyle here - every social thing centers on drinking. My SO came home late in the AM this week, drunk again, and its times like these where I can't take this life anymore. Should I sleep in the spare room? When seeing him in the morning is really the only time I see him? And I moved here for THIS. I can't see my a life going forward from this. I used to be smart, ambitious, independent, happy alot of the time. Now I just pray to make it through the week without breaking down completely.

That the silence in my life is beyond deafening :( the silence from both my (ex) best friend and her twin sister who is also a friend, or at least I thought she was. Her silence suggests otherwise. I have made mistakes in my life that have inadvertently hurt them both and no matter what I say or do or how many times I apologize or vow to make amends they treat me as if I was dead, and assume things about me that aren't true. Part of me feels that they both hate me or at the very least have absolute contempt towards me, and it hurts more than anything. I've known them for well over 20 years, only a monster would hurt a friend; especially a best friend. Their silence as well as the silence from mutual friends makes me feel like one every day :(

one thing I am sad about today is...

I really need someone to talk to and I've tried with a few I trust here but with no luck. Part of the problem is I dont want to burden anyone with the horrors that are in my head. I've survived severe maltreatment. I cant bear to let someone else see in my head and I cant bear to be alone anymore either. I want to curl up and die.

I'm worthless. My mother doesnt love me and I keep hurting myself. I want everything to end. I'm hurting.

That my beautiful loving mother is not alive to shower with my love. I miss you more than I can put into words Mom. Happy Mothers Day! 💔

I feel sad today because I do not have the strangth to break away from my depression stuck point...I was able to pull out from whirlpools but I cannot pull myself out of this...so in my failure I feel sad...

That lost much of my support system when I moved, and rebuilding it is taking longer than I'd like.

That I pushed them away, thanks to depression I pushed my best friends away :(

Now they shun me, treat me as if I was dead and assume the worst things about me. They couldn't handle it and they're gone :( :'(

God, I miss them! I wish we could reconcile, I wish we could talk, only a monster hurts a best friend :(

Everything