One thing I am feeling sad about today is....{share here}
I am sad because I am stressed and I got in a fight with the one person in this world that means the most to me.
I feel sad today for no reason, I'm just sad today.
I feel sad because my mom, who is unaware of my depression, made me feel bad when I was trying to tell her something that should make her proud.
I was telling her about this group that I'm part of where the purpose is to help others in need and even to simply get them things they wouldn't really need but would like to have while they can't afford it, to a certain extent. So, there's these two buddies of ours who've been through very rough conditions with their families, and I was telling her about another friend my mom knows about who helped them financially and how we've been trying to support them.
So, to make it short, my mom started telling me that I should take that as an example and stop complaining about my life because I have food and a roof, etc... but I rarely complain, and when I do it's not about my life but about how toxic my sister's presence in our house is, and still, my mother either ignores me or tells me to shut up when I do although she can clearly see how right I am....
I was feeling quite well before that because I had been laughing with friends at silly doodles I drew, but that just completely ruined it and I went to sleep after it for 14h...
The fact my mom doesn't know about my depression and other problems I've been through is intentional, as I am close to moving out and I just don't want her to make a whole drama about it or ignore it after going through the hassle of telling her everything with anxiety topping it. Besides, it's not like we could afford a therapist, so all of that really isn't worth all of the efforts before I move.
@KuroHiganbana Hi, you just described my mom and all her destruction perfectly. With her it was so bad constant and daily We didn't talk for ten years two different times. Both times I thought we could make a new start, but I learned it's hard when only one person owns and claims their own junk. I don't have a pretty solution wrapped in shiny paper with a bow, but I will offer you a hug and empathy. Only advice I can give is don't wait to be my age to stop hoping for it to change for the better. Find new dreams to chase, don't stagnate your life live it now. It's hard to start at 56. I'm rooting for you 👍👏🙌
@RedWolf1 Hi~
I see. I don't really have that daughter-mom connection with her either. We never had it, and she thinks she knows me and my personality well when I keep showing her and surprising her with the way I speak, act and react to the world that she truly is wrong in all ways possible. It's like she lives in her own world of fantasy, unaware of reality to a certain extent. But I don't care much. My only true wish currently, is to go away and cut all contact with blood-related people, because never in my life have I had people hurting me so much as those who I'm supposed to call 'family'. As a matter of fact, ever since I started becoming depressive and that my health has been getting progressively worse, it's all 'family's' doing.
Sadly, and honestly speaking, one of my biggest problems is that I can't make or keep any goals for myself, and that's something that I have yet to -fully- understand why... I just can't, and I only understand part of it (to keep it short). I cannot set a 'dream' for my future. Even if it's small goals, I can rarely stick to those due to a lack of motivation in life and enjoyment of things that used to please me otherwise, so I can't and I avoid making them, to avoid bringing myself down even more.
However, I understand what you mean and your intentions, and I'll gladly accept the hug :' D
Thank you for taking time to read what I wrote and to reply to it. I appreciate your kindness :')
Making out drunk ...again
That I haven't been able to find true friends, a relationship or just plain anyone who shows me any common courtesy, decency, or doesn't treat me as if I am not the most convenient and deserving thing to take all their BS out on.
@RedWolf1 I didn't notice this on the day you replied to what I wrote... I would be glad to bring you to a group of friends in which the purpose is to help others if you'd like (and if you have an account on either dA or Discord) :')
(I'm just not sure how I'd send you a link and if that's allowed here ^^;;; )
That even going out and hanging with my friends still manage to think about and ex that is not good for me at all:(
i feel terrible, still, today. i thought i've already gotten over things but i'm still sad inside. it's hard to keep my tears from flowing but i have to because i still live with the folks and i don't want them to be worried. i feel terrible.
@FlowerHead I'm crying right now, so just cry if you want to cry.
All I've been able to think about since I got home is how I failed at making a career with the Navy. I was seperated due to being diagnosed with severe depressive disorder. I feel like I failed my family, even though they say they are proud of me for trying.
One thing I feel sad about today is my recurring loneliness and depression.
Muy girlfriend doesn't love me any more, that make me feel so sad
@ari05 I think the same way about my boyfriend sometimes. We talked everything through though and now we're a bit better, slowly. How do you know she doesn't love you? Have you spoken to her?
