One thing I am feeling sad about today is....{share here}
I have to push myself to leave the house.
This website has taught me that i am not worth caring about and that there is no hope nor help for me.
That therr is no empathy for me even though i am facing what is wrong and doing everything i can to heal.
This place has taught me that asking for help and being vulnerable guarantees harsh judgement and shunning
@OPinyon
Yes there are some harsh people on here that do more damage than good but that isn
@diplomaticShade2167
Thank you Shade! I need all the encouragement i can
@diplomaticShade2167
It worries me that i might be repeating a pattern here: I kept trying and trying again here on this site.... the SAME way i did with my abuser and my birth family...
And the SAME dynamic...OFFERED all sorts of things in the name of Love, community, belonging, support....
then rejected, judged, shamed, labeled
Then told i had imagined it and thst i was being too extreme. Hence...MY Fault
@OPinyon
plesse it is never your fault.. I agree it can be hard to find someone who generally cares on here.. But the few yrs Ive been here I have actully meet 3 wonderful people and we continue to chat.. Is heart breaking and really hard but in the end we need to learn skilks to make ourselves stronger..
@diplomaticShade2167
Thank you Shade. And I agree about developing...and continuing to develop skills and getting stronger. In a wsy it's a relief to hear you say it took some doing and...time for you to dind the people you now chat with. Though....the mess and poss pain and douvt entsiled in that...i wouldn't wish onANYONE.
Just feels like most of the tough stuff is always done alone. I mean ...i was actually used to that. Maybe if i find a way to accept that again?
@diplomaticShade2167
Thank you SO much for truly listening to me and hearing me. Are thrir certain days amd or certsin threads where you are the Mod?
@diplomaticShade2167
Lovely to have met you. Thanks for ypur help and kindness.
@OPinyon
No worries.. I
@diplomaticShade2167
Thank you so VERY much! You are a l cool drink of water after a long desert trek! 🏜🏝⛆🌈
I think I am following you now. If not, I will.
Seems like quite the journey for you, huh? E.g. 3 years on here and sounds like it was quite tough for quite awhile. Am glad to hear you found some support and hope that is working well for you. Thank you for being my support! It meant the world to me!
Hope we can chat again. (Maybe via Feed? ...I had a good talk with another Member that way just after talking to you. Post and delete). I would like to be a support to you as well.
I wanted to see my friend but she wasn't at school, but that's okay because I'm happy she didn't have to stress about school today
For falling so far. It is amazing to think I could ever be the girl I was, and how I have changed so much for the worse.
My failure
My lack of self confidence
I have no one
Everything..
That I graduated from highschool and that phase of my life is truly forever over.
@carefulKite8433 it's okk you'll experience so much more!!!
That I do not get things done ... i feal like everything i do is pointless anyway and since my mother hates me no matter what ill do it feals like i will never do something right ...