One word to describe how I feel today is....
One word to describe how I feel today is....
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Failure
What hurts me more than any physical damage that can possibly be struck upon me is knowing that I failed someone. Failing myself is something that's difficult but knowingly redeemable in the future. Failing someone else stings me to the deepest of my core. Today i failed someone and it's someone that I so happen to have been trying to ensure that we still had a balanced relationship to a strong extent. Now, I don't know how they think or feel about me, and trust me when I say, they're not the type of person that invites that sort of questioning. I feel like an idiot because I made a mistake that could've potentially destroyed our lives.
It was the type of mistakes that i normally would never make, but this was one of those perfect storm situations where my mind at the time just wasn't fully processing what I was potentially doing. Accident or not, I felt terrible and completely idiotic. So for now, I'd say "failure" is the shining feeling of the day. The amount of care that I put into others is what leads to this immensely deep feeling of self hatred whenever I fail someone (especially someone close to me). Not sure how to handle this. Some might say it's good that I put so much emotion into thinking about others while some may also say that I shouldn't as it's clearly affecting me too much in life.
Thoughts????
@SaleemF I think the most important thing to consider is how best to move forward with this person. If you guys are close, they will want to show you compassion and continue having this good relationship with you, despite whatever happened. Do you see some ways to start moving forward with them?
@indigoJet762
I think i'm in a position of simply waiting to see what they say the next time we chat about something. I'll hope for the best.
@SaleemF Good luck to you in that case, hopefully things stay strong between you both (: (but you know, sometimes it doesn't hurt to reach out first!)
@SaleemF Hi Saleem.. You are not a failure even if you feel like that.. And you are strong enough to put others before you... Be a lit bit stronger and include self love and self compassion in your heart.. I hope that you will workout things between you and them soon... 
You have no idea how positively powerful those words are to me right now in my life. Thank you very much for the thoughtful and caring words.
@SaleemF
I hope things get better. I hope you feel better one day.
@SaleemF
I respect who feel bad about letting someone down.You don't have to exaggerate though, if you try to fix your mistakes then you're not a failure, just put efforts in fixing your mistake towards that person and show them how much you care. If you do your part then you don't need to beet yourself up.
@Laura overwhelmed
Restless
Irritated
@indigoJet762
@indigoJet762 i totally get it!
Lonely
@MariaVictoria00 it eats me up, alive, slowely.
I feel lost and sad, but I am able to keep a smile on my face..biggest clown here.
@BrokenButterfly515 I know the feeling oh to well
@Laura I feel relaxed
Lonely and lost
Even if I am surrounded by friends and family.
worthless.
Glamorize
@Laura
discusting