@PaytonFaye2003 and @Avaray Corner
please let me know if you get this! its or own corner where we can talk!
@Avaray @agreeablekite4304
Good morning, i love you both...How you guys feeling?
@Avaray
Are u there? well I ended laying back down and Molly told me to get up... so she made me go outside with her to do Yard work... said it aint good to lay around... I will be on about 2 to 3 hrs...
Love you, hope ur okay
@Paytonfaye2003 hey payts xx hi 5 to molly she got u out of bed and getting you into the fresh air and sunlight xx
Lying around just makes it worse xx i hope you have a good chat to molly while youre out there.
Im going to climb into a nice hot bath and have a soak and soothe these stiff neck muscles of mine.
Im glad you're feeling alot better xx and i hope you have a lovely Easter celebration tomorrow.
Glad you're up xx you're going to be ok payts... One day at a time xz
Lol Payts. ❤❤❤
@Avaray
Ava, hope you had a nice easter! Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you and I miss you! Hope to talk real soon!
@Paytonfaye2003 hey Payts how you doing x
Yes i had a nice easter thanks xx my husband locks our dogs up so they dont get the easter eggs before the kids do and then hides the easter eggs in the garden and then the
Kids go on a hunt to find them, then we share them out equally between them so there's no fighting!
Then we normally go to church after that.
I see you had a good day and got spoilt too! I like what you did for Molly that was really special
She must have felt very good inside.
You're sounding alot better today... Im glad xx
My kids go back to school this week so i have to start driving long distance again
Because there is no school here in the town where we live and work for my son.. Im not really
Looking forward to it because i have to drop him and then be back in time for work at 8
In the morning and then go pick him up after work again it works out to about 200km a day
So i get really tired. But that's the best option for now, but im not a morning person i think
Mornings should only start at about 8 o clock...
I see your news about staying back a year.... Its tuff to handle now
But it will help you later, there's nothing worse then battling in the higher
Grades because you missed out on stuff in the foundation phase.
It's like building a building you want it strong so you take time to make sure
There is a strong foundation so the building stands tall and strong.
It's disappointing for you now, but it's not forever...but what you "build
On now is forever... The beginning of your future.. Payts you can do this
You have the strength and bounce back inside you to handle many things
And I know you can do this if you decide to put your head down and
Do it.
Im glad you're not going to the park without Mollys permission anymore. Its not safe Payts.
If u need space and air rather sit on your porch or something.
Lol kiddo ❤❤
@Avaray @greeablekite4304
Just woke up. Im cranky!
@Avaray
Where r you at? I wanna talk!
@Paytonfaye2003 hey i see you woke up cranky mmmm... Ive spent 3/4 of my weekend in bed with
Flu so i feel like a bad word.. So i guess we are all abit under the weather the cranky bunch 😜 I feel like staying off work
Tomorrow and just curl up and sleep, but i have far to much work to do.. But im thankful i have work
Alot of people at the moment dont...so im grateful...
Hows things going with u and molly... Have u unpacked yet...
Have u seen that little creep since he attacked you like a coward.
Whats your favourite subjects at school?
And how is that cut of yours healing... The stitches should be out by now.
I thought Molly was going to take your phone away.... How did you get out of
That one!!
Hows the counselling going... Are u feeling abit more comfortable? I see my psychologist
On Friday, its been a few weeks since i saw him so it's normally abit awkward in
The beginning. But i feel so safe with him i wish i could fall asleep on his couch
With all the cushions and not face the outside world but the hour goes past so
Quickly and then u go and do life. I've got a good psychologist.
You should get yourself a hobby to do, what do you like doing or what
Would you like to try do.... You should really ask molly if you can get a smallish
Dog, one that can snuggle with u in bed at night time and they wait for you to come
Home from school and are so happy to see you. Just a thought... Im not sure how
Molly is or you about dogs.
Anyway kiddo, I'll try write as i can, my life is going into hetic zone again this week onwards
So leave me a message and then i can reply when i come check online... I havent gone anywhere
Ok xx we just have to make it workout as best as we can.. Answer some of my questions I would be
Interested to hear the answers.
Have a good day at school.. You are stronger mentally and probably physically then that kid... So try
Walk away ok Payts... Proud of you kiddo and love u too. I wonder if kite is still cranky. 😕
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@Avaray @agreeablekite4304
I will answer ur questions I promise, I just wanted to say I love you both so much and And so so greatful to the both of you! I promise I will never sneak out again and I promise I will never talk to him again... You both have my word and I will not even be around him... I will talk to molly and have her ask the teacher to move his or my seat in class cause we sit right next to eachother and I dont wanna be near him... You both are right and I deserve alot better than him... I want to worry about getting good grades and being closer to you both and molly...
@Avaray @Agreeablekite4304
heres the Answers to ur questions!
1.) Hows things with Molly? Things with Molly are okay. She is very good to me and Shes easy to talk too.. But I kinda still have my gard up with her alittle! But everyday that goes by it does seem to get easier!
2.) Have you un-packed yet? I'm not completely un-packed but gettting there... I have posters on my way and my room is starting to look like my Room.. Im still kinda afraid of un-packing because nothing seems to last forever! But Im getting there... I am starting to call this place my home so thats a good sign right!
3.) Have you seen that little creep since he attacked you? Yes, remember me saying how the other night when I snuck out I met with him at the Park because he wanted to talk with me... so yes I have seen him that one time... But You both were right, I can do better. I want good people in my life, not bad!
4.) Whats your Favorite Subjects in school? My fav, is Reading.. I love reading and im pretty good with my spelling words too... get a 100 every time on my spelling Test... I just have a hard time with the Punctuation... I love Gym Class too!!!
5.) Hows your cut Healing? Its alot better you can barley see the cut anymore! I used to run away all the time way more that I have been and I think that running away has getten alot better.. But as far as the cutting I still cut alot... I cut my Legs and belly alot cause thoes are places nobody ever sees... I dont know why I do it... when Im sad I cut, when I am angry I cut, When Im deppressed I cut, sometimes When Im happy I cut.. Thats one thing Im having a hard time stopping tho.
6.) Thought Molly was going to take your phone away! How did you get out of that? Thats a touchy subjest for me, I become a brat and say things I dont mean... I tell her I need my phone because what if Im not home and something bad happens and I have no phone to call her... Then she feels bad and agrees with me.. I know its wrong and I shouldnt act like that, but I become a BIG brat and thats one thing I wont Part with.. Its My phone, and thats one thing That I have from home and she cant take that from me!!!!
7.) Hows counselling going? I went to counselling this morning and this is actually the first time I talked. So I'd say its getting Better! I still dont feel like I need it, but its nice to talk to someone else once in a while... Its nice and glad I didnt stop going.. I know I need it and I just dont want to think Theres anything wrong with me. Even tho I know I have really bad issuse at times..
8.) Are you feeling more comfortable? Not sure if this question is for counselling or just life! But yes I am becoming comfortable.. I know I still have a long road ahead and Im trying my hardest. Believe it or not I really am.. I hope you guys really believe in me and know that I will become a great person and I am trying... I really struggle with athority (not sure if thats the right word)... Lots of rules and Sometimes I have a hard time... When things get to hard for me and then I act out... I wish I wasent me and that I wish I wasent who I am today... But I know with the help from the 3 of you that I will make it through...
I hope I answered all your questions and anytime you have any question please Just ask!
Ava- How are you feeling? are u feeling any better? Theres so much I'd like to know about you and I hope sometimes you can talk to me about ur troubles and your life... I care about you and want you to know I am here for you too... Pls tell me something I dont already know!
Kite- I am sorry about making you mad all the time, but sometimes tough love is just want I need to see things in a different light... But I love you and hope you will be the tough love I need!
AVA & Kite- Love you both so much and I see me changing little by little but It will take time... I talked to molly about being in a dance class and doing something with my time... I got a Journal, and only wrote in it 2 times... I need to do it more... Love you both to pieces
@Paytonfaye2003 hey Payts xx thanks for all of that... You sound alot calmer today.
Thanks for answering all those questions... And for realising that you are valuable.. Because
You are... I don't like you to go through hard times, but it's part of this road to recovery that We all are walking... And some days are just a really bad word and others abit better.
From when i first got to know you i have seen a strength in you... I know that when you put your Mind to something you can do it... I do believe in you... I see a beautiful young girl that is making A new start and even though it's really been hard you don't give up and you have such a tender heart Which is something precious to have.
Im so glad about that boy Payts, he doesn't deserve to even walk on The same ground you walk on.... I still want to smack him grrrrr 😡😡😡 sorry He brings out the protective and bad side of Ava, hold me back kite, hold me back ..!!
I love reading as well, although the past year i have been Batteling to concentrate. I enjoy the author Dee Henderson. She Writes christian themed novels, and normally has a mystery/crime and Some drama and touch of romance. I have almost got her whole series.
When I was younger and still had "a body" and not married I used to enjoy Playing tennis and squash, and do aerobics and cycling and horseriding, thats eventually how I ended up meeting my husband.
Now I am too embarrassed to do that stuff as I need to loose Still alot of weight that I picked up and i had operations on my wrists To fix them up so my right hand is still sore and I need cortisone injections In it on and off as i use it all the time as I do computer work.
I enjoy when I have extra cash and time to go and watch a movie at the cinama.
I dont really like animal movies or romance movies or true movies because They make me want to cry As they usually end up sad. I like the ones where the good guys take out the bad guys!
I like to sing and play the guitar. My favourite cake ..lemon meringue pie mmmmm.
I also enjoy a coffee freezo or coffee milkshake if they dont have the freezo.
I also like to write poetry when I feel a poem inside then I sort of have to get it out Onto paper, I call them expressions as my grammar is also not too good 😄
Well thats abit about me.
You know Payts whatever you do as you change dont do it to please us, do it for you,
Because you know you are worth it, I can picture you all grown up, a tender hearted feisty beautiful successful Woman who has learned from her hard times and come through it stronger and can help others do the same. But always Do it because its for you not to please others.
You may have added to my gray hair collection and stress level at times but that doesn't change that I do love you too kiddo.. 😘
I wonder how kite enjoyed her birthday. Im still feeling as we say in our country , vrot. As i have another round of the flue so my head Feels all stuffy and sore throat and neck. But Ava is tough I'll be ok soon.
Have a good night sleep payts... I have to be awake by 4:45 😭😭 from now again and get up to make the lunches for work and school.
When do you turn 14?
Anyway i need to go for now.... Have a good day tomorrow.. Im going to call you a new nickname.... PP...... Stands for princess Payton... So you remember how valuable you are and how you should be treated.
Sleep tight PP XX ❤❤
@Avaray
I will be 14 on Aug 5th... Thanks for telling me a little bit about u! Did u read about all my bad Habbits! Well I am working on them.. And when was kites bithday? I didnt know because nobody told me??? Is it today Or was it Yesterday?
@Agreeablekite4304 @Avaray
Are you guys there???
@Paytonfaye2003 hey!
@agreeablekite4304 @avaray
Another sleepless night!!!!!!!!!!!
@agreeablekite4304
@Paytonfaye2003 hey Payts (PP xx).. Just wanted to let you know that i haven't forgotten you and I still think you're pretty awesome and sending lots of love and hugs.
Im just working through some stuff. And running around and busy so Im just taking a few days to get my head in a right space to work on it and i tend to just go abit quieter when im working on stuff that's just me and the way i get things sorted in my head... nothing you have done and still love u too.... So i haven't left!!.... So don't get mad at me!! or forget about me in just a few days ok!!😕😯 😘
You can post me some nice quotes that you were trying to show kite how to do... I only got it right once...and then it didn't work... So i copy other peoples ones. That would be nice to read and i would appreciate that.... Chat again in a few days... Hugs my little friend hope you're doing ok. Lol ❤❤
@Avaray
Miss you
@Avaray
@Paytonfaye2003 😘
@Avaray @agreeablekite4304
MISS YOU SO MUCH... PLEASE LETS TALK
@agreeablekite4304 @Avaray
WELL GOOD NIGHT TO YOU TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@Avaray @agreeablekite4304
Hello, how are you guys doing? Miss me?
Hey Payts.... Hope all goes well with your dinner tonight, just wanted to let you know that we're
Thinking of you. Xx
Lots of love and hugs ❤
@Avaray
I dont wanna go
@Paytonfaye2003
Yeah i saw that you dont but u are probably going to have to anyway xx
So i hope it goes better than what you are fearing it will be like.
I get the not wanting to socialize, I'm sort of the same, been put into those
Situations also make me very uncomfortable, and i wish i could just stay home
With just me, myself and i.....
But these are things we have to do in life... With time it will get abit better and
One day you might suddenly realise these are not strangers that i think are looking at me funny or are maybe judging me or maybe don't like me... But they're part of my family now.
It's only a few hours, nice food... It will make Molly happy (points scored there) and it will make her family happy that they can show you acceptance and love....
It's a bad word hard...i know....and you don't see why you have to... Do it for Molly which will make her heart happy and swell with pride to have you join in with the family. She loves you and is proud of you Payts, even we like you, they will like you and grow to love you and also have your back, thats what families are for.... Imagine having all those people on your side supporting and loving you....
Give it a go Payts, your worst enemy is the thoughts that you think about yourself.... And im sure you are not very kind to yourself.... But thats not who we see Payts... Even when you are moaning at us or we want to climb through the phone so we can either hug you or grab you and take you back home, it doesn't change how we still see our fiesty, passionate, tender hearted, strong princess Payton whom we've grown to like, care for and love.
You got this kiddo... Think back to all you've come through .... Every step you were scared, nervous, didnt think you could do it.... And each time youve done it pushed through, fought those scary things and here you are. It's so much change in such a short time... But Payts, just do these few hours for Molly... Think of all those people as Molly in different disguises, give her those hours as a sacrifice of you showing how much you care and love her, that is what people who care for each other sometimes have to do.
Tell us how it goes..... Sorry Payts... But reach deep down inside yourself and get that strength that i know is there and do this..... Love u kiddo xx
@Avaray
it totally aint fair at all...i never have a choice for anything... I just want to go somewhere and hide, just so i dont have to go... You say do this for molly, well what about doing things for me... im not saying i never want to go there, im just not ready and no offence she cant make me... i do wanna make her happy, but i dont wanna go... and she shouldnt make me!
@Paytonfaye2003
I hear you kiddo x Have you told Molly that everything is just happening too fast and you just need abit more time to settle in and that's it's not that you don't want to go there but just need things to slow down abit so you can get a chance to catch up on everything that has changed in your life and then you will be able to cope abit better with the new things that are happening.... Maybe if you say it like that she will hear what you are trying to say and not thinking that you just want to withdraw from everyone and especially her family..... But tonight it's abit too late to cancel, that would come across as rude to them. So you probably are going to have to see this one through but tell Molly what you are feeling on this subject. If you don't express properly people don't understand and sometimes get the wrong message.
I can't say she will say it's ok..... But at least you have expressed yourself and she can understand you more and maybe she will explain her reasoning as well.
Make tonight work though Payts.... You are going to have to go anyway x.. Try enjoy it abit even if it's the food or whatever you want to focus on.. It's a few hours and then finished, and then have a good heart to heart with Molly.
Sorry kiddo..... ❤
@Avaray
Im not going!!! Im leaving
@Paytonfaye2003
Ok Payts.... You're in charge of your actions and also the consequences thereof.... Still love you kiddo xx
@Avaray
Im so sad and depressed... I DONT WANNA GO!
@Avaray
i dont wanna leave, but i dont wanna go there.. i wanna cry... it aint fair
@Paytonfaye2003 i know Payts... You have a safe place to call home now, I know you dont want to leave, that's always been your first response to things to protect yourself, but tou don't need that so much anymore and you are starting to realise it's a safe place and you don't have to run.... That's huge Payts, do u realise what a step forward that is xx Have you spoken to Molly and told her you are just not up to it but also dont want to be rude but you can't handle the stress of it now ... Talk to her Payts, there is no other solution.. You need to communicate what you are feeling, in a respectful way. Let it all out and sob your eyes out by her if you need to... But you gotto talk otherwise she won't even know the depth of how you're feeling... Im sorry you're depressed Payts... Warm cuddly hugs to try make you feel a little tiny bit better.
Xxx
@Avaray Aagreeablekite4304
Im so sad!