Self-Love: What is something you would like to gift yourself?
Often, we spend money and our thoughts shopping for gifts for others, but what is the gift you would like to gift yourself?
Me: A paid vacation with my family in a beautiful place
I would like to gift myself some extra strength, it's tough holding together
@quietWater2885
Agreed 🙌🏻 lol. But remember that you don't always need to be strong. I have to remind myself that daily.
@HtheGreat the only thing I know is trying to hold on, all I want is to just let her know I'll change but my heart will remain hers. But when she wont speak to me I feel every word I send her is a terrible reminder that I hurt her, I drifted and became distant and stupid and I blamed it on my depression and its rough cause I know I really do love her and I don't want to let go, time is passing so slowly. It's been 6 days and it feels like 6 weeks. The only clarity I get is from getting my self together and doing all the things I need to so I can maybe one day be able to give her exactly what she wanted. All she wanted was more attention, for me to show I care, not just do the work but say I'm so so so proud to do the work to be someone. She wanted to be someone with me, and I want that still too. I just never learned how to let someone decide, I've always been the one to try and chase them when they leave. They all care for me still and I still love them all and I've learned from this that I have been in my way. I've been procrastinating, not committing to doing the work in the relationship (which is crazy cause I love that part), I've just been so busy and with no car and apartment we don't have a common place to spend time. The distance and the fact that I became pretty about texting and calling is why we fell off. I was very childish but I don't know if it's just me because she said she was also to blame. I want her to just be happy so badly, and I also want a chance with her again.
@quietWater2885
Don't worry to much about it, im sure this will get better. Its hard to see it now but I promise that the state you are in won't stay like this. You will grow. I know it hurts but don't give up hope. I know how you feel. Thats basically my life story lol.. I used to have a lot of friends, but I have this stupid thing called social anxiety. I pushed people away cause I was to afraid to open up. Eventually I locked myself up in my house, and never talked to anyone. It caused my friends to think I was ignoring them, and my family to think I was stuck up. I lost a lot of people and its been hard to move forward. But just know this, rock bottom is a GREAT foundation to start building. I believe in you. And I'm glad you decided to go to a websight like this to reach out. And again, you don't need to be strong all the time. A healthy cry never hurt anybody. 😊
@HtheGreat I definately cry, but that's easy. The hard part is not doing it all day, at work, on the street, in the washroom, everywhere. I feel so terrible I let it become like this again and I'm scared i wont change. I'm scared of so much. I also have social anxiety, I battle it alot and it's loads worse when my depression hits after things like this and it's been a really bad for me for the last 10 years basically
I'm running out of tears, I often become totally closed off and abrasive. I go against who I am and I say thing I regret but cant admit because it has to be that way, I cant let anyone know I care. You cant cry about losing love if you don't love anymore, you just cry about what was lost already. I don't want to be this way, I want to remain kind and gentle and be the guy she fell for. I don't feel like me
@quietWater2885
I've been quite busy today so sorry for the late response. But I want to say this. You don't feel like yourself because you aren't yourself. Depression changes you, and rewires your brain to think and process things differently from most people. It can and will eventually take control of your life. But that doesn't mean that you can't get better. Dont let depression dictate you. Its so incredibly difficult, and much easier said then done, but not impossible. But the most important thing is to know that you arent meant to do it alone. You can, and should talk to a professional! It really does help a lot! Someone who can keep you accountable, and to remind you to keep a positive mental attitude. Like I said before this stage in your life won't stay like this forever. And its okay to have weak days. Even weak months! But its important to know not to stay that way forever. Dont forget to keep moving forward, and progressing. You can do it, I believe in you!! Dont give up! ❤😊
@quietWater2885
I lost someone I loved because I hurt him while depressed. In my case, I dont think he will ever come back. I ahve apologized and worked on my issues, but he wont forgive me. I hope it works out for you. Stay strong!!
@dancer58 I hope he finds his way back to you and can forgive you. I am such a firm believer in love, I wish love were the answer now. I should seek help, but I'm afraid to get help but I need to fight this depress and fight to get a second chance with this girl
I'd fight the world to get another chance with this girl
@quietWater2885
Its a battle when you have depression. Its a battle you have to win every single day. And a small loss can leave you wanting to give up. But I believe in you! I can tell you really love this girl, and I hope someday you can be happy together. And if not I will keep you in my prayers, to help you move forward to find another great relationship.
@HtheGreat thank you, your kind words and support are much appreciated right now. I feel so hopeless but I have to try and keep positive and you guys are helping
@quietWater2885
I'm glad! If you want to keep in touch follow my page. Dont forget that you are worth the fight that you battle everyday. And if nothing else, I truly believe you can and will move forward and prosper from this. Good luck, and you can do it!!! ☺☺
Vacation with my family.
A camping trip into the mountains away from everyone except my girlfriend
@adoredHug70
A clean room!!!
I should go do that right now actually thank you 
A trip to Alaska during summer
Well after a humungous bag of money, I would gift myself the ability to say the right things, when to hold my tongue and lastly the ability to remember conversations
an endless amount of sleep
a trip out of the country
@affablePeach7764 Same here :)
A nice collection of books, novel and a make me a nice comfortable place to read.
A peace of mind. It hurts to live in fear, anxiety and paranoia everyday.
