A Journal of my Journey: 12-16-20 (Today was an anxiety day)

Another day that started out good and then was ruined by the pissy attitude of my coworker. I was doing fine, feeling good, and then he got upset by something that another staff member failed to do. That started the “I’m out of here. I finding another job.” along with the apathetic work behavior for the rest of the day.

So, of course, my thoughts start to run away with me. The finding and training a new employee. The extra work load on me when I’m already at my capacity. Taking back tasks that I had delegated that I really don’t want to do. So of course, the tension comes along with the sweats (despite the office being cold) and the inability to focus. I start freaking out and just wanting to go home. I start thinking maybe I should quit and find a less stressful job. (Which isn’t realistic right now.)

I’m so tired of feeling this way and having others triggering my moods. Short term coping techniques just are cutting it anymore. That’s why I came back to 7cups for some support. Deep breathing, meditation, herbal teas….all the do is force the feeling down a bit, but that spectre is always there saying “As soon as you are done, I’m coming back!”