Am I a bad person?

when I was a kid my mother used to cry, hit me until it hurts and tell me I was a bad person for the things i used to do, but that wasn't out of normal, it was child stuff, like bad grades, crying, sleeping late and stuff, and whenever it happened, I wasn't able to reply to her insults, because she would hit me even more, and sometimes she even said she would throw herself trough the window of our building if I didn't tell her my grade in math. I grew up and still don't know how to fight or argue, I keep quiet because i was taught to do that, and I can only cry, that's how i express my anger. Now I have no affection for my family, i grew up a cold person, sometimes I wanna hit my mother until it bleeds, but I wouldn't do that, it's just in my mind, she can be my mother, but i JUST CANT like her, i can only feel angry, i grew up manipulative because when i was younger i learned how to lie and do whatever it took me to escape from the situations where I know she would start a drama and hurt me physically, i grew up with the darkest mind, I know it's not my fault, but i just wanted to feel like any other teenager, I didn't mean to be like that, and each day I spend here my anger grows more and more