Anger within depression
When I get very overwhelmed, I have a history of yelling and getting incredibly frustrated. I don’t like being like that. But I feel so unheard. How do you keep clam when you’re already having a bad day and have to deal with more stress. Example, my fiancé and I were supposed to go on a date night last night after a incredibly long day at work. We ended up not going and he stayed on the couch on his phone. When I tried to explain to him we could have still done the date at home it had become my fault because I didn’t say anything. But I’m consistently the one planning our special moments. It had me so frustrated. How do you cope with stress in a healthy way rather than lashing out?
@understandingme725
This is an issue many are dealing with....
depression and anger IMO often go hand in hand and i know when stressed and feeling unheard i can become vocal.
it is frustrating that your partner did not see your stress and make changes to date night...
I wish mine would make real suggestions not play video games or be on phone etc. he says he trys to stay quiet and out of my way ...... I tried telling him if you are not part of a solution then you are part of the problem but that seemed to only make him mad...... i have been throwing my frustration into exercise getting results there but i know that is a temporary band-aid...
I hate it because I always feel bad because I don’t like getting angry. I hate being to vocal and saying something I don’t mean or hurting his feelings because I love him. I hate that you’re also feeling this way I completely understand what you’re saying. It’s a horrible thing to feel. I try walking away but that doesn’t help anything.
@understandingme725
often you are right does not help and IMO trying as hard as you can ... i did this to not explode in anger is like herding cats..... something slips away.
have you told him when frustration reaches a boiling point it is hard to not blurt out something that may be hurtful or unnecessary but feeling like you are not being HEARD does that ... told mine this weekend he really needs to think about the difference between hearing and listening ,,,, and taking someing in and really understanding or just saying i heard that but did not think about it...
Sometimes you can do it and sometimes you lash out. It is a tough dilemma. Blaming yourself does make it worse though. The depression is frustrating and that makes anger towards regular life harder to manage.
But it also sounds like your fiancee wasn't particularly understanding about a needed date night and some focus on your relationship. That is important too. You are valuable and deserve someone who listens. @understandingme725
