A rant?

How do you respond to Whats wrong?

Its such a broad question. What does one say to not scare? How much do they share? I never know how to respond when asked. Just say nothing and move on with life. But like most things, its easier said than done. Then again, do I just say everything? How I cry but feel nothing? Where it lingers into my soul and my body is numb but my mind says that something is wrong. Triggering survival mode and just, shut down. Like youre paralyzed and all you can do is think. With no motivation for anything. Where you sit or lie there, still as a stump in the ground. Not being able to leave or move. Trapped within your own mind. Where you, yourself becomes the enemy. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much help you get, if youre not in it, nothing will change. And I need change. So why is it so hard? My head knows Im sad, but my chest just burns. Not painfully, just a feeling that its settling. Like after a breakdown that hasnt even happened yet. Or where it doesnt feel like its there, opening an empty space within. Sometimes I wish I could disappear. Along with all these mixed feelings and responsibilities. All the mood swings, all the irregular. But thats unrealistic. This is unrealistic. Ive been told to make the best of it. Mainly for others. Saving them the trouble of my mind. So I lie and fake. I felt like I had to, to survive, especially in a place where people dont understand and dont want to learn to. Plus its easier that way. No complicated or awkward talks, no pity, no degrading, nothing. Just leaving it alone for myself.