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King8
172 M Embraced 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2022 Member sinceJune 6, 2019
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Relationship going downhill
Relationship Stress / by King8
Last post
 October 12th, 2022
...See more My boyfriend and I work together, it’s how we met and we’re coming up on our one year together. Unfortunately as peers we’ve never worked well together, him and I think very differently about how things should be done. He does one way and I do another, we’re both full-time so we crash a lot at work. We usually keep it separate from our personal life and relationship. It’s made things very easy for us as a couple and we’ve been in sync. We always tried to talk it out and find ways for us to be better at working together. However it always falls back and we start clashing again at work. And recently I’ve been noticing it’s been affecting our life outside of work. We’ve both become more busy in our personal life so most of the time, work has been the most prominent way of us seeing each other. When we do see each other outside of work I’ve been more quiet and distant from the feelings of not being heard, supported, or respected. And today he expressed that he’s been feeling the same way and have been repressing it. The solution he suggested seemed very one-sided for me, that I was the problem and I had to be the one to fix it by being more understanding of the way he does things and what he goes through. I got offended and defended myself, like we were on opposite sides. We never finished the conversation but it makes me want to rethink our relationship. Does anyone have any advice? To be honest, I’ve been so drained from the relationship and work itself that I just think it’s a dead end. But I don’t want to give up so easily, even after trying for so long. I’m honestly confused..
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Help
Relationship Stress / by King8
Last post
 September 11th, 2020
...See more I've been dating my boyfriend for six months, and about two months ago his parents told him he had to move out by August 22nd (we're both 19). Also been given the decision to go to college or join the military. I've been trying to do the best I can to help, but he has four days left until he gets kicked out. And he has no plans. He says he can't move out on his own due to the cost of living here, and doesn't want roommates. I offered him to come live with my dad and I, with the request of him getting a part-time job. Which he has stayed in contact with his last one and about to be re-hired. However, every time I've wanted to talk to him about this situation he shuts me down on the subject and never wants to talk about it. I've watched his mental health slowly deterriote over the course of the past few months. And he began to talk about self-harm, although he has not done it yet. I suggested to try therapy but he's very against this idea. And now I realized that I'm also being affected by all this emotionally/mentally and feel a bit lost on what to do next. I know he's struggling with this dilemma of not knowing where to live next and what he wants to do for his future, but I have no idea what's going on anymore. I still want to help but no matter how hard I try, I get pushed away.
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A small rant without context
Relationship Stress / by King8
Last post
 September 4th, 2019
...See more I cant say Im confused again. I know what I want but its ironic. I used to think about how Ill never go on a first date or have a first kiss again. I became content with it. But I also thought that things need to be fair, two sided. So when he went on a first date, had a first kiss again. While I was at home, alone. I didnt think about it at the time, but now, now that were together again, I wonder. I wonder if I do the same, itll fill the pain in my heart. Although deep down I know it wont help, I dont even really want to. But well be even and the tiny chance that it will help the pain, I wonder. In the end, I know I wont. Im content after-all.
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A rant?
Depression Support / by King8
Last post
 August 18th, 2019
...See more How do you respond to Whats wrong? Its such a broad question. What does one say to not scare? How much do they share? I never know how to respond when asked. Just say nothing and move on with life. But like most things, its easier said than done. Then again, do I just say everything? How I cry but feel nothing? Where it lingers into my soul and my body is numb but my mind says that something is wrong. Triggering survival mode and just, shut down. Like youre paralyzed and all you can do is think. With no motivation for anything. Where you sit or lie there, still as a stump in the ground. Not being able to leave or move. Trapped within your own mind. Where you, yourself becomes the enemy. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much help you get, if youre not in it, nothing will change. And I need change. So why is it so hard? My head knows Im sad, but my chest just burns. Not painfully, just a feeling that its settling. Like after a breakdown that hasnt even happened yet. Or where it doesnt feel like its there, opening an empty space within. Sometimes I wish I could disappear. Along with all these mixed feelings and responsibilities. All the mood swings, all the irregular. But thats unrealistic. This is unrealistic. Ive been told to make the best of it. Mainly for others. Saving them the trouble of my mind. So I lie and fake. I felt like I had to, to survive, especially in a place where people dont understand and dont want to learn to. Plus its easier that way. No complicated or awkward talks, no pity, no degrading, nothing. Just leaving it alone for myself.
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Am I crazy?
Relationship Stress / by King8
Last post
 August 15th, 2019
...See more I need some advice for my relationship. Ive had a boyfriend for almost two years but he broke up with me two months ago, a week before we were supposed to move to another state together. He said he wanted to find his individuality and focus on himself. It was rough but I understood. Then less than a week of our breakup, he started talking to another girl from his work. He continued this to the point where he lied to me about her and led me on. I still went on to move to the other state, not knowing what was happening between them. After 2 weeks of me moving I had to come back to state for an appointment, during that time I went and saw him. And we had a really good time. Then he confessed his feelings/love for me and said he would stop talking to the girl. He did do that but lied to her and didnt tell her about me. At the time though I decided to give him another chance. Then I found out everything. All the lies. And it was like all hell broke loose. Ive never felt such pain before, especially from him. I became so confused and we talked multiple times. He insisted that he would never hurt me again and would like me to give him one last chance. And of course, I did. So now were back into a relationship, slowly letting our friends and family know. But Im very insecure, and find myself becoming that label of a crazy girlfriend. Ive gotten into the habit of seeing when hes online during the times he doesnt text back or questioning him repeatedly about the little things. We both know I dont trust him and I always thought time and effort will heal since I havent completely moved on from what happened. He exclaims that he understands why Im acting this way, and continues to help me through it. Determined to gain by trust back, although he hasnt really done anything for it. I still appreciate this and would like to make our relationship work. But now were in a distant relationship with some issues. How am I able to overcome this situation and help my relationship while healing from the pain?
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