Consistent Depression
I have been working to pull through from the depression/anxiety I have been suffering from and be living proof for the good old saying "this too shall pass" for too long already, and no luck. I am a senior in the last month of high school and I feel like the reasons for people to be proud of me are dwindling to very few. I start to see myself as "not worth other's time" but I hate being alone because people still see me as a nice person. I just feel like I am screaming but no one can hear me because even I am hesitant about telling anyone I am depressed, because I don't want to let anyone down, but when I worry about letting people down I shut down from stress and fail them even more. I am flunking my one class, unemployed, and don't know what I can even do with my future. I don't know where to start
you will be ok. I think your going through normal things for your age. The depression should for sure be addressed. There are free mental health places in every community. Call a hotline and see. I you have depressionthere aremedications and things you can do to feel better. No one should hurt all the time. Your future will come to you dont worry so much.
I alsohave struggled too long with a depression and everytime I try to rise up, my anxiety kicks in and I go back down again. I also feel likeI can't talk to people because they shouldn't be bothered by my troubles.I hope both of us can soon experience some goodness and get help and also get motivated to rise up once again.
i err know what to do. I Even gave upon even trying to smile. I started to feel asifi wasnt even being real with myself. Its bad enough i dont even do anything! I lost all motivation with my life. I became adDictted to a drug an now i hate myself even more.! I went threw alot when i was younger, verbal physical an mental abuse, i have tryed to face my issues but i just get piss off or Over whelmed . i doNnt even know whyy im trying this, maybe cause im hoping this may work or i am seriouSsly physcoan need a therapy. Who the fuck knows . but i feel as if im losing it more an more every day . i fucked my life so badd in my past because of what i went threw an now my life isnt shit. i try an see my mom an heer an my sister dog me every chance they get making me feel even worse . me an my sister used to be best friends now she wont even speak to me . An its my fault . my actions got me kicked out so i had to move with my bf an his family an for tHree almost four years i became this horriable person too my family. i cant do nothing now, its to late! Idk why bother .. GuesS i will add this .
Sammy if there is one thing I've learned from my past mistakes it's that family can always be healed. I haven't gone through the extent of pain and hurt that you have but I had very similar circumstances in my behaviour. I gave up on everything in my life I cared about. All I wanted to do was get drunk or get high and to hell with the consequences. Emotionally I was completely shut down and I had no feelings for anything I was just numb. I would start arguments over anything I could to get angry just so I could feel some emotion. You need to concentrate on the positives you have in your life. You said you're living with your bf, well for him to make that commitment he clearly cares deeply for you, I know what it's like to feel trapped inside yourself. You're never sure whether you should give up or fight on and you always second guess yourself to the point you say who cares!! But the thing is although you're broken you're not beyond repair. I think it would be beneficial if the first step you took was towards your family. Explain to them why you've acted in this way tell them everything you've told us. Tell them you'll do whatever it takes to put things right but you need their help, support and love. If there's one thing I have learned it's that people aren't supposed to be alone were not made for it. You've taken the first step by talking about how you feel. The second, third and so on will only get easier but you have to work at it. And I'll be brutally honest at the start it's going to suck. I don't know how your family are but mine wanted nothing to do with me. I had to keep fighting for it to prove to them I could change but I needed their help and eventually I got it because family is for life. And with my family behind me it got easier and life became clearer and now I'm still going through stuff yes but I know that no matter what I have people who actually care whether I'm around or not and for me that was all I needed. Maybe it's all you need to ?
*hugs* I am going through similar feelings right now.