Defeated
I’ve been trying to get a college degree for a decade. 10 years of trying and repeatedly failing to get one. Within the past year, I got so close to finally getting a degree, but then I failed again.
I was so excited; I was finally going to move on with my life, I was going to finally leave my horrible parents, I was going to actually achieve something, I was going to get the job I wanted. I’m devastated. I’ve been trying so hard for so long, but I keep failing over and over again.
I don’t want to try again. I can’t stand it anymore. My life is a living nightmare. I’m accosted by my parents every waking moment of the day. Their disappointment in me has blurred with all my other failures. My life is just constant disappointment, and I don’t care about anything anymore. No one at home or college has ever seemed to care about me personally. I was just another number, another wallet to bleed dry. I have always been the failure child, worthless. Everyone in my family has succeeded except me, even my younger siblings. I’ve never held any value. What’s the point?
I'm sorry about what happened to you and that your parents are so unsupportive.
I'm sure you have many good qualities and your worth is not determined by a college degree. You could also get a other job or maybe try to study something else if the subject did not suit you.
@persistentGrapefruit7004
Thank you, I think you are right. I think I do have qualities that can’t be
determined by a degree, but everyone seems to think that stupid piece of paper is so important.
I have switched degrees several
times, and I thought I would finish this last one because the material wasn't
anywhere near as difficult as previous majors, but the environment the college
created was so cold and harsh that it finally took me down. The worst part
is that I feel that I’m more than intelligent enough for the degrees I’ve tried,
but the structure and system of college is just something I can’t tolerate. This last degree amplified that system to a merciless level.
If I had started that major 10 years
ago, I might have been able to finish it, but I'm so tired and battered from a
decade of constant struggle and my parents getting increasingly more hostile. College has done
nothing but make me miserable.
Yeah, i agree with you. Success at school or univeristy does not show how intelligent one is. Different people just need different styles of learning. And if the system at university is not for you, because it's maybe too stressful, too impersonal or whatever, that's no problem. I think there are a lot of other great things one can do. I mean a lot of well known people did not go to college and still did great things. I'm sure you will find something that suits you and where you can do something cool or useful or money-making.
I'm sorry about your parents, too. My father was also very critical of me all the time. Some people just don't understand that there are many different goals and skills that people can have, which are wildy different.
I wish you good luck, mate.
