Depressed? Numb.

I’ve gone through something very similar, and it’s really tough. I think talking through your emotions with someone on 7 Cups or talking about your emotions with a trusted friend/adult would really help. I know feeling numb can be somewhat confusing and weird, but I promise it’s normal. It’s a way for our bodies to deal with a lot of emotions at once. If you don’t feel comfortable talking with someone, writing in a journal or listening to music could help as well. Again, I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time and I hope my advice may help a bit :)

There is most likely a medical or mental health clinic affiliated with social workers who can help you get in contact with low cost or no cost therapists in your county even if it is a rural area. Google search for all clinics in your county, and contact one of them. Even if the first clinic you call is not affiliated with social workers, they will know which clinic or location has social workers. Those social workers can help you set up an appointment with a counselor or therapist. As far as your family not 'believing in therapy', it's really up to you to take the step to get into therapy or counseling despite what family members want. That of course will be difficult if you are a minor. In that case I would suggest visiting the school counselor to arrange for you to see a therapist. There are of course crisis contact numbers you can call. This site also has those listed. And if you are considering any degree of self harm, simply going into an emergency room or doctor's office and telling the medical staff that this is something you feel like doing - that will get you committed into a stress unit regardless of what what your family wants. In fact, you won't be able to leave. They can legally hold you for 3 or 4 days minimum. Longer if you are still considering hurting yourself. I'm not suggesting you lie to get yourself committed. I'm just stating what I understand to be legal requirements in every state. And I believe the minimum hold is 3 or 4 days depending on the state. Also if you are an adult (I don't know about children), while you are in such a psychiatric unit I believe that if you don't wish to be visited by particular family members, HIPPA law states the medical staff can provide no information about your treatment. Check on the specifics because my information may be out of date. But HIPPA is still a federal law, so your privacy regarding medical (including psychiatric) treatment is federally protected. If you have a guardian, conservator, or if you are a minor, I don't know to what degree if HIPPA applies. And as always, check with a professional. I am not a professional and may not have all my facts correct. But I think most if not everything I stated is correct. Good luck to you!