Depressed with no support system
Hi. My name is Briana. I'm 17, but I'll be 18 in a few days. I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for a year now. I've been hospitalized 4 times in a 4 month period. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me... I've been told that I have no reason to be depressed, everything in my life is good (which really isn't true, but whatever). I recently discovered that I might have a dissociative disorder, so that's great. Not like I didn't have enough to deal with. I don't have a therapist right now, but I'm looking. My mom isn't very compassionate when dealing with me. She doesn't understand, even though I've tried to explain numerous times. My friends avoid me, my family judges me, and I feel so alone. I don't know what else to do. I am not suicidal anymore, but I simply want to escape. I can't tell anyone that without them wanting to put me back in the hospital. I relapsed and cut myself a few days ago, And I feel awful about it. But it felt so good and I want to do it again. I had been clean for 3 months... I can't tell anyone what I've done, because they will get upset. All I want is someone who understands me and what I'm dealing with. Please if anyone reads this, just tell me that I'm not alone, that I'm not crazy or desperate for attention. I just don't want to feel alone anymore.
I does not sound like you are attention seeking. It seem like something is bothering you, or that you are unhappy with something in your life. I am sorry you feel this way. It also seem like you do have a support system around you, if not your family, then the hospital and some professional people. Use their help an support for all it is worth. And if you ever feel like talking one on one just contact me here.
Hey, I've beenstrugglingwith anxiety and depression since my early teens, and I'm 28 now.. I seriously feel guilty sometimes since I probably have nothing to be down about, but it's not our faults. Our brains are not chemically balanced. Theres nothing wrong with that. It took me a really long time to realize that. I just started to seekout help for the first time a few weeks ago.. When I was younger I used to cut myself a lot. I even cut myself in front of other people to show how much I didn't care about myself and how numb I felt. I lost some friends because they just honestly didn't know how to deal with that kind of situation. My suggestion to you is try to find a group therapy, do some internet searching. I'm sure there are plenty of places/groups that can help with no costs. I think that you should talk to a therapist about getting medications to see if it helps.. You always have a support network here on 7 cups of tea!
Briana, I do not for one minute believe the people who say you have no reason to be depressed. I do not know why you are depressed. But I can guarantee you it is for a reason. And it is not your fault. I have been around long enough and seen enough people to know that for sure. So please believe me when I say that this depression you feel is not your fault.
Progress often takes a long time. But with the right help you can make progress for sure. It is not fast. So do not blame if it is not fast. The important thing is that you were clean for a while. One slip up does not change the progress you had made.
And you are NOT alone. So many good people suffer with depression and dissociative disorders of different sorts. I have lived most of my life with a dissociative disorder ( aka DD) Dissociative disorders do not happen for no reason. So there again, it is not your fault. And lots of good people have that. But they are people who have been hurt one way or another. With me, my mother degraded me so much that I just had to escape into dissociation. I just would split off. As much as I do not like myself, the truth is that this was not my fault. The hard job though was healing the wounds and also healing my own feelings I carry about myself. But to the degree that we can heal this, we become stronger than others. Because we have developed a strength. An insight.
I wish you a happy birthday. And just know that you are not your pain. You are someone who has suffered pain. But it is not who you are. You are someone who maybeknows what it feels like to think bad things about yourself. But you are not bad. How do I know? I can feel it when I read your words. Please keep working on finding your way back to knowing your worth. That way you get to win. You get to reclaim your own power. Sometimes it takes a lot of years. But it is a path that can give you insights and strengths that most not have. Brcause when we grow from adversity we gain a strength that is deeper and more powerful. Really glad you wrote here. And I will say this loudly YOU ARE NOT ALONE. NOT AT ALL. If you will accepet abirthday hug, here is one from me >:D<
It's now 2:00 am and it's officially my birthday. I can't sleep, and I'm just so stuck. I've talked to my therapist, but I'm hesitant to tell her about the dissociation. I feel like she won't believe me... I know that it won't last forever, but it hurts a lot right now. *sorry about the late reply, but I didn't get the notification that you commented*
sweetie, happy birthday. I do not care what anyone says. There IS a good reason for depression. There IS a good reason for your depression. And it is not your fault. I repeat, it is not your fault. And it is not who you are. It is what you suffer with,
I also want to tell you that I suffer with a dissociative disorder. many people do. It runs the spectrum of not so severe to extreme. But there is no reason to think yours is extreme. Although some people have thought mine is. It isnt. the most extreme. But different people have their different thoughts.
Dissociative disorders are fairly common. So I do hope you will not be frightned to think you may have one. Therapists have told me often I am wrong about a diagnosis. Thats their opinion. One pdoc told me I was wrong. And then on her own diagnosed me later with the very thing she said I was wrong about. I guess the important thing is not to let them define you. I know thats easy to say and not so easy to do.
I want to share with you a ted talk someone gave. He suffers from depression. And his talk was very inspirational. if you want you can google"Kevin Breelconfessions of a depressed comic"
I also want to tell you something. Today is my brother's birthday. He died this year from cancer. But he was such a wonderful human being. He had a hard time when he was young. Not as hard as you. Not as hard as I. But it helped him to have great compassion for people who suffer. I am sorry you are getting a crash course in suffering. I hope that you will find the right thing that can get you out of the depression and all. But I can promise you that first, depression etc is not who you are. And second, it is not your fault. I will repeat that,. It is not your fault. one more time, It is not your fault.
Hey Bianca, Saw your post. I know this was posted a year ago. I hope and wish you are in a better space now. Regards Stay blessed
And wish you a Very Happy birthday 😀
@bsquared2014
I like u have no family support which is devastating to us with depression or any serious problems. The therapists can only help so much cuz we come back home with noone to talk to. Without support we worsen. The hospitals always insist u surround urself with a good support system. How do we do this in our situation especially if ur low on friends if we havent scared them off which happens cuz they tire of ur problems. So to sum this up, with no support system especially at home we are lost and alone
@bsquared2014
Don't worry, Brianna, you got us,
If you ever want to talk to someone PM me,
YOU GOT ME.
Hello, I'm 19... Um I don't know how to start this but today I was fighting with some girl because she hates me and wants to fight me and then later one of my friends told her everything I didn't tell anyone else and now my secrets are out and I have no one. My mom is treating me like shit because I told her everything.. I don't know what to do... I feel so alone.... I can't talk to my boyfriend because he is just gonna fight with me about it...
