Depression: To Accept, To Fight, or To Balance?

How many times have you heard that acceptance is the way to healing? Or that fighting your way out of this mess is what will take you to the other side and finally defeat this beast of Depression? These two questions contradict each other. So how can they both be equally as valuable and right for us?

During my time with depression Ive asked myself plenty of times which of these two roads was more right for me. Should I accept the pain of feeling this everyday and teach myself how to live WITH it? Or is it more reasonable and effective to learn how to fight the symptoms of depression through numerous tips and techniques. Sometimes it might even be a combination of acceptance and fight. Maybe?

Most days feel the similar to each other with depression. So how do you determine which days to fight and which days to accept? I have learned to balance mindfulness with the fight. Here are the steps I took and still take frequently:

1. Recognize the day ahead is going to be long, sad, empty, and dull, because thats what I feel and its what my depression tells me. I identify these emotions and put names to them.

2. Gauge my energy level for dealing with the emotional toll these feelings are going to take on me. If I can pay attention to my energy level, I am able to validate for myself that these feelings exist for me. They are my reality in this moment.

3. Accept that I am feeling this way and that it is my present emotional state. If I cant accept that this feeling is real, then how can I begin to take steps towards helping anything?

4. After sitting with the acceptance in the present moment, I determine what my next options are.

A. Sleep sleep and sleep some more

B. Cry cry and cry some more

C. Sink into myself completely and wonder what the purpose is. Wait for something to change.

D. Find something healthy I can do that MIGHT bring me even a centimeter of relief for a while.

This is where it gets tricky. Its certainly easier to give the illness what it wants and avoid taking any action to feel something different. Even moving from the couch to take a step onto the floor, and eventually outside, can feel like the most daunting task. It is always more reasonable in my mind in the midst of my illness, to stay still, in hopes that I can make it to the next second, and the next, and the next.

Is this really easier though? Is it really reasonable? It is if I want to be stuck. This illness will never magically disappear. It will never leave me without my taking these steps to help myself no matter how small. It will sit there and eat me alive. So this brings me to the next number:

5. I take it one very tiny step at a time. Move my foot off the bed and onto the floor. Then my legs. Then my torso and wow! I am standing up! Already I feel that tiny sense of empowerment within me.

6. Now Im facing my task. I am going to choose D from my options above. But not after considering once again all the reasons why it would be easier not to. Im going to do it anyways.

7. Often I dont believe that there is a single thing in this world that could bring me relief from my illness. So I fail to try to help myself look. But when I get off that bed and take it one step at a time outside and I breathe that first breath of fresh air into my lungs.... I feel a centimeter of lessened pain.

So ultimately yes acceptance has played a part in this struggle of mine. Sometimes saying to myself that I do feel this way and that it is valid and real, helps me to feel more at peace with it. It helps me to take ideal steps towards the fight. Sometimes its a win and sometimes its not. But at least in this scenario, stuck doesnt exist.

So what are your thoughts? Do you accept your depression? Do you fight it? Does it depend on the day and if so what are the factors present that tell you to either fight or accept? I want to hear what your personal steps are and how you came to find them!

Tagging the team just because :) <3

@Kate @HeatherfeatherC @Marshmaiiows @ItsMichelle @BurningEmber @Teagan @Pumpkin74 @Suranta @ElephantLove @pamharley003 @DanaMH @Healingangel4u @magneticForever58 @empathicForest15