Depression
I am 20 years old and I've been suffering from depression for the past 8 years. My life hasn't been perfect, but there are so many people that have had it way worse than me, but still manage to be happy. Although my life isn't all that bad the main problem is the constant feeling of self-hatred. I constantly feel worthless, unlovable and subhuman. On top of that is crippling loneliness. All of my social interactions are incredibly shallow. I always wear a mask, never showing my true self to people because I am afraid they will leave me when they find out who I really am. I don't blame them. Why would anyone want to be around me? I don't deserve love. All I deserve is pain! I self-harm almost every day to punish myself for being such a worthless waste of space because the only thing that ever gives me any pleasure is knowing that I am getting the pain and punishment I deserve.
@exuberantPeach6704 It sounds like you're going through a really tough time right now, but one thing is certain, you are not useless and you do deserve love and happiness. You've done a brave thing reaching out here and I'd definitely encourage you to seek support from 1 on 1 listeners and family and friends if you can x
@exuberantPeach6704
If you seek a listener here I recommend reading through profiles of listeners first to find one that won't be a random mean troll which unfortunately can happen here because of the anonymous nature of it. Some of them are rated quite good. I also recommend the self esteem audio tracks in mindfulness section of the path menu. Guides section also has good things related to pain and self harm without being judgemental. 7cups of tea one is great overall start point. I'm glad you found 7cups. You are a good person. :) <3