Depression, ever-constant feeling of hopelessness
Hi guys. This is my first time ever posting here in a while, I think I deleted my older posts out of embarrassment.
anyway, recently got diagnosed with severe depression. It’s cool knowing but I’m getting no treatment for it besides ineffective therapy sessions that just instruct me to make calendars and think about the positive side of things. I’m having trouble thinking positively when my life just progressively keeps getting worse.
At this stage, I’ve just finished my freshman year of college. Staying with my boyfriend until July, but went home for a family trip. My mom officially kicked me out, and I am now being sent to Arizona for July. For years the origin of my depression has been my little sister, who relentlessly torments me, and who my mom values over me.
I got kicked out because my sister got an attitude with me and I didn’t apologize. For once I finally called out the unfairness and the abusiveness of the situation and my mom just sent me home before we could even go on the trip. I am currently back with my boyfriend, but “looking forward” to a soulless, empty stay in Arizona where I have no one to talk to or hang out with, no beaches to run to when I’m depressed, and no ability to skateboard considering how hot it is.
My life seems to be going down the drain more and more with each day. I was under extreme stress during Fall quarter, and was forced to switch my major because I had no one to support me and no one to help me. Instead I actually got mockery and disappointment for failing to keep up with subjects that my mom never cared about me learning. My whole childhood was spent begging to go to a better school, and I was ignored and ignored until I graduated. Now my mom is talking about sending my sister and my little cousin to better schools, and it’s honestly such a slap in the face how undervalued I am.
anyway, just venting here. Don’t mind me, feel free to skip past. Trying my best to stay above water.
Hey! I have severe depression too and it's has been .y family. My sister is toxic my mother's is obsessed with her. In pretty much blind to her so i know how it feels to be neglected by people who are supposed to support you. All I can tell you is distant yourself from family, don't expect much and for depression you can get over it without medications. It'll be tough and there will be relapse but if you want to have a better present and future than your past you have to try. Atleast that's what I try to do.
Hope you the best. And there is no need to be embarrassed. We all are going through thus we can understand you and support you. <3