Feeling like you don't belong and rejection

Hello, I'm new here. For a while I've been experiencing this feeling of not being good enough and just not fitting in anywhere. That everything is wrong with me and constantly questioning myself why I'm not like everybody else. I've suffered from depression for a long time, but two years ago it started getting worse... Partly because the person that used to be my best friend since we were kids suddenly stopped talking to me and that kind of triggered my depression a bit more. When I asked her what happened, she told me she had changed and blamed me instantly saying that I was cold and that we only really talked about movies, and that hurt me a lot (we talked about everything. We really were close since little and use to get along super well).

the point is , to this day, two years later, she still doesn't seem to have any interest in speaking to me and leaves texts on read and just never talks to me unless I text her first (we leave in different countries). I feel rejected, and it hurts because I miss our friendship. And even though I am working on accepting that we are probably no longer friends, there are days that I feel really sad and blame myself for what happened. I don't feel worthy of friends, I feel like nobody will ever like me and that I'm just weird, that if I make more friends...they'll leave too. Does anyone feel this way too?

Some days are better though, I just don't want to feel sad or guilty anymore.