How to accept life the way it is..
I don't know howrelevantthis is to this group, but I really need to get something off my chest into the cyber world. Quick background, I've suffered from depression & anxiety for 15 years (+ a cutter)& went through a horrible divorce with an abusive man 4years ago. Since then, I've had dating disaster after disaster. I broke up with someone a while agobecause he said he can't take the chance of having someone unstable raise his kids- which of course threw me into a deep hole that I'm still trying to climb out of. Additionally, I can't seem to hold onto a job. I do the best I can, but it's never good enough (I have a BA in Business)... People have told me I'm nice, and good, and helpful and loving, but I don't see anything besides a burden and annoying.
I'm just so lost and confused and worried and hurt. I feel like I don't deserve happiness because I broke my ex husband when I kicked him out. I'm sorry, I just wanted to get this out and I really don't know what to do. Or how to proceed. Everyone around me is moving forward in careers, life, family, etc and I'm stuck in the sludge, more like quicksand- not only am I not moving forward, but if anything, I'm falling down.
I dont know how to just be thankful for what i have. i have food, a roof over my head... it's more than many people do & that should be enough.... why can't that be enough...I'm trying to teach myself not to want a family or partner or career, I'm really trying, but I still have a glimmer of hope that I can't seem to get rid of.
Sorry for such a long letter... just wanted to get that out there.
I found out that focusing on all the bad things of the past just bring you down even more. You have to look at the good things of today and make some dreams for your future. Criticizing yourself all the time doesn't help either. Everyone is different, but everyone has their own unique qualities as well that make each of us original. :) So just relax and disregard all the past mistakes/bulls**t .. You have many opportunities ahead of you. I wish you the best!
Pebbles, im sorry that youve had to deal with things like the marriage to the abuser breaking up (which was probably best), then the guy telling you he didnt want someone unstable raising his kids, and the problems holding a job. As you said though, you do have things to be thankful for, such as, the roof over your head, food to eat, and the business degree. I saw this music video that reminded me of your situation. Its called the broken beautiful by ellie holcomb, its a Christian song and I hope I dont offend you by recommending it. I will say a prayer that things get better for you.
I found being positive is always the best way to help through every situation we can go through. I am at a loss of words and want to say that you are an icon for other individuals going through depression and anxiety. You had some rough times in life and kept on moving. Focus on yourself and what you love!
Thanks guys, not offended... It's just hard to focus on the positive- I'm trying
