How to kill my ego?

I'm tired of the burden of emotions, I don't want to be ashamed and humiliated anymore, I just wish I could manage to desensitize myself to everything.

I'm a failure, and no one respects me. At both school and home, I'm constantly reminded of this. "Idiot, dimwit, stupid, r*t*rd," cruel words constantly flung at me. I'm so inedequate, it's as if I'm a caricature. My parents have had no trouble telling me I'm talentless, "but that's not an excuse to go and die, you have responsibilities." Even my teachers have secretly mocked me, remembering a time where my teacher reassured another student simply by telling them the question I had asked, that "At least you're not that stupid."

It's tiring. It's not even the matter that anyone would miss me if I died, I truly am just a walking joke. I work hard only motivated by fear, because if I don't work hard, I'm officially worthless. My standing at this point is to study vigorously to get any decent paying job to take care of my parents, and that's all I'm needed for. But lately I've been cracking, its been so hard to manage this hollow work motivated by nothing but fear.

Everytime I try to pursue my passions, I'm knocked down. "It doesn't make money," "you suck at it," "You have to be talented or at least the bit bright to make a living doing this." Nobody acknowledges my work, even trying to do the thing I love I can't get it right. I'm too much of a coward to die, but I can't live like this and still feel