I Don't Know What to do Anymore.
It's like one moment things are good; I am happy, my friends are with me and my girlfriends and I are happy. Then it was like one day I looked around and things just wasn't good anymore. Usually my friends are here to help me bounce back but they all went off to school. It's like I'm getting more depressed within every year and all I want is it to go away. I tired of feeling like everything around me is tops and doom.
I no longer want to depend on others to help remember what true happiness feels like. I want to be happy, and I know a lot of people say this but I feel like depressed is sufficating me and ruined everything. I just want to be free.
Just because a lot of people say it doesn't make it any less true for you. I hear how much this is weighing on you, Emmy. It must feel lonely watching your friends go off to school, while you still need them. We all need a support system, and I'm glad that you have come here. It is a really good step to take.
I feel very lonely but I'm happy for them. A part of me regrets not going away, but I know that if I did I wouldn't know how to hold in my break-down moments. I already feel like everyone thinks I'm crazy, but stays in my life because they don't want to be the reason I committed suicide. I just hope that I can do this year with-out them and that I'll be healthy enough next year to go away and start living my life.
I hope so, too. And I can't make any promises, but I doubt that people stay around because they don't want to be the reason. I have found it is only the people who really care that don't drop me when I go through hard times.
