I don

Where do I even begin? I've been through one of the worst weeks I've had in almost 2 years. To begin with my uncle died last week with his funeral being on Sunday. Monday everything was nice and peaceful. My boyfriend comforted me gave me everything that I needed to feel better. I had my friends there for me I had my boyfriend who I love very much telling me how much he loved me. I wake up Tuesday morning and he has ghosted me. I got my answer yesterday after telling him I would show up to speak to him. He gave me a "I don't want a relationship, I love you I'm sorry" message and got rid of me on every social media. I wrote a letter today expressing my feelings put it in a bag with his shirt , dropped it off at his house and went my way onto work. While I was on my way to work I saw him getting out of his car and pulled in to speak to him. He didn't say a word to me simply shooed me away with his hand. I guess that gives me the answer that I needed, the answer I definitely didn't want. I'm lost and confused especially since everything was fine two days ago. We were even meant to go to the beach today for a four-day weekend trip for my birthday which is tomorrow. He acts like he hates me and at the moment I hate me too for whatever I did to push away the one person that I excepted into my life after so long. I'm falling back to that dark empty place and fear that this time, I won't make it out.