I don't know what is wrong with me
Hi to whoever is reading this. I need to get this off my chest.
So for the past few months I have been feeling very down on most, but not all days. I do sometimes feel better or even happy during some days even if earlier I have felt down or have been crying. But it's happening very often now and it has gotten to the point where , a lot of the time, I don't feel like I can carry on through another day.
What i've been feeling is sadness, just feeling like i'm going to cry for no reason. I cry at least a couple of times a week. When i'm not sad, i've been feeling empty, with a loss of interest in things I used to enjoy. I try to avoid interaction with other people.I feel anxious and on edge a lot too, leading me to feel nausesous and lightheaded and low on energy. I am unable to concentrate well at school and I feel that I will start to fail. I have no motivation to do work at home. I have 2 friends, both who I can talk to, but I have not gotten this deep into it with any of them becasue I would just cry and they wouldn't be able to help. I feel guilty that these people have to hang around with me being all miserable at school when they could be happy and haing fun with someone else. There's no point in trying to hide my misery from them because I will just burst into tears, but I feel horrible for making them worry. I feel like such a burden. Eery day I walk around school and see people engaged with their work, friends and life and they're all happy and haing fun. I just feel like a ghost. I am letting down everyone who is close to me. I feel lost.
@unusualmoose Hi - I'm so sorry you're going through this. Depression is so painful, and it really sucks so much joy out of life.
It definitely sounds like yours is worsening. Have you tried talking to a listener here? Sometimes it helps just to chat. Working the growth path has been pretty helpful for me, too. It gives you some really useful tools.
@ThisIs543
I have not done any of these things yet but I will start to look into it. Thanks for replying
@unusualmoose, I can relate to how you feel; it genuinely sucks. I'm struggling with this myself, and I too feel like a burden to those who care about me. But they do care about me, and I know that if anything happened to me they'd be devastated beyond repair. I have no reason to be unhappy; I have a good family, a couple of close friends, a steady income, and an otherwise very good life. Still, I feel this sadness and despair all the time, and sometimes I feel like crying for no apparent reason.
As someone already mentioned, meditation can be helpful. It may not fix the core issue, and it takes practice to have it become effective, but it definitely helps me step back and take control of myself at times. If you're feeling upset, axious, stressed out, whatever the case, try this. I like to use square (box) breathing: inhale deeply for a count of four seconds, hold it for four seconds, exhale completely over four seconds, hold you lungs empty for four seconds, repeat. Focus on your breathing throughout this exercise. Take slow, deep, deliberate breaths. After several cycles of this my heart rate decreases and I generally feel very calm and relaxed. I know this alone isn't going to solve depression and make us instantly happy, but it may help you find your center and gain some perspective into your emotions.
Hang in there. Remember that there are people who care about you, and no matter how bad you feel that the sun will rise again tomorrow. You're not alone in this fight. Ultimately, we have to persevere over this and not let depression control us.
@sky51
Its unfortunate to hear that you have also been feeling this way but it makes it easier to deal with knowing that there is someone else who feels the way I do. Thanks for your tips of the breathing exercises, they will definantly be useful as I feel that a lot of my stress could be lightened by such techinques. Thank you for your reply, I hope that you will find some happiness too
@unusualmoose
help me
@unusualmoose Im glad you were able to share this. Im struggling with those exact same thoughts and feelings. When Im feeling my lowest I put on some calming music and I go for a walk. Or I play some music sit and take long deep breaths and not focus on anything but my breaths.