I don’t want to lose you

I don’t want to lose you, you mean the whole world to me. I finally knew why you hate talking about the future, I finally understand why you hate talking about us having a family, and I finally know the reason behind every question I’ve ever had. You told me yesterday that you wanted to end your life in few months, my whole world collapsed, every single memory of us played in my head. The clock is ticking and I’m helpless, I don’t know what to do or how to help.. you’re so determined about what you want and I don’t know how can I change your mind. I can’t imagine that every experience we had was the first and the last, every time you looked into my eyes you said goodbye but I never understood. I’m so sorry for everything, I’m sorry that every time we went out I had to go back home and not into your arms, I’m sorry for not hugging you much, I’m sorry for hanging up the phone whenever you slept on a call I wish if I listened to your breaths for long, I’m sorry for not staring into your eyes enough, I’m just so sorry. You deserve happiness my love you really do. I wish if I can give you my happiness and joy. I just wish that day would never come. I love you and I’ll always do.