I feel trapped

In my opinion, sometimes you gotta put yourself first. I don’t know what your case is and I also don’t know the whole situation, but sometimes you need to prioritize yourself and that’s not selfish!

If it's for your self-growth or benefit then I guess you have to go ahead.
You alone are the best judge of that so sit with yourself in silence, introspect and you will come to the best decision.
Cheers.
Tani

At the end of the day, if you really can't choose, if you can't weight the positives and negatives, there's always tossing a coin.. I do it for choosing what to eat..