I hate feeling this way.

I feel so lonely and lost.

I am tired of pretending I am happy and tired of acting like i am someone I am not. I wish I could have someone to talk to but when I reach out for help, i am always dismissed and brushed off to the side.

I feel tired and fatigue. I have tried over and over again to heal myself and my shattered self esteem however, I always end from where I started. I am tired of trying to heal myself and spend years of effort.. just for it all to go down the drain.

I don't see the point of anything anymore, but I am not willing to give up like that. I do not know how much longer I can distract myself from reality, but I could really use a friend right now and some advice on how to cope with this.