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MintyGlue
398 M Embraced 3
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts21 Forum upvotes26 Current upvotes26 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2019 Member sinceMarch 4, 2019
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Stuck in time
Depression Support / by MintyGlue
Last post
 August 23rd, 2019
...See more I have a lot to say.. but i do not really know how to express myself. I will start from the beginning, where my depression began. I was only a 9 years old when my parents had a nasty split, and although this is a touchy subject for me, i know i need to get this off my chest. My father took my older brother and we stayed with our mother. Even once split, my parents continued to fight and argue in front of me and my siblings, i ended up growing up in an environment where it consisted of "your mom did this," or "your dad did that," "tell your dad i said," "tell your mom i said," i am trapped. My depression worsened over the years and i learned how to pretend to be a whole different person hiding under a mask. I am numb. I was such a good actor my parents were surprised i was depressed when i told them. I get anxiety attacks here and there, sometimes i even thought about death and how much disconnected i feel from everyone. I feel like everyone is growing up while im still trying to live out the childhood i never had, i grew up to learn to put others needs before myself and make them happy so they wont be sad like i am. Sometimes i want to be selfish, but i cant. I feel like a hypocrite telling others to be happy when i am not. Now im feeling all these emotions that i learned to suppress. I cant handle all these emotions at once. Anyways, thanks for listening to my little rant, i feel better now that i finally told someone.. but is it normal to feel emptyness within?
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Feeling sick and anxious
Anxiety Support / by MintyGlue
Last post
 March 15th, 2020
...See more Over these past few months, my anxiety has gotten worse and worse. Ever since my last anxiety attack, I've been feeling depressed, not wanting to eat, loss in all the things i used to love before, nauseous, lacking sleep and feeling weak all the time. Right now, i feel anxious and felt the need to tell someone without any judgement, or felt like i was a burden to others. Im worried because i can feel another attack coming, and i feel like its going to be worse than the last. I was also wondering if i needed some medication? Because meditation is not working anymore.
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Fear Of Relationships.
Relationship Stress / by MintyGlue
Last post
 July 24th, 2019
...See more Im a person who loves incredibly deeply.. a person who wishes for those fairy tale relationships. However, whenever i try to break out of my shell to meet someone, i always get this gut feeling that nags at me, like talking to this person isn't right- so i end up hurting their feelings by shutting them down because i know it isnt right to ghost them or to lead them on. Everytime i try to see myself in a relationship, i feel like a can't breathe. I feel uncomfortable when people hug me, touch me, or say they like me but its complicated since i wish for someone to hold me. Just about this is making me incredibly anxious. I really don't know what is wrong with me
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I hate feeling this way.
Depression Support / by MintyGlue
Last post
 June 13th, 2019
...See more I feel so lonely and lost. I am tired of pretending I am happy and tired of acting like i am someone I am not. I wish I could have someone to talk to but when I reach out for help, i am always dismissed and brushed off to the side. I feel tired and fatigue. I have tried over and over again to heal myself and my shattered self esteem however, I always end from where I started. I am tired of trying to heal myself and spend years of effort.. just for it all to go down the drain. I don't see the point of anything anymore, but I am not willing to give up like that. I do not know how much longer I can distract myself from reality, but I could really use a friend right now and some advice on how to cope with this.
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Being single is ok
Relationship Stress / by MintyGlue
Last post
 June 1st, 2019
...See more For over the past month or so, I've realized a thing or two. I have come to terms that being single is okay. I used to think that everything in my life would be complete if I had someone to love or someone to love me for who I am, so that was all I focused on, to find that person. When I liked someone (and I still kinda do) and told them that i did, they didn't say much but look at me, smile, and walked away.. leaving me questioning what he meant. I think I had been rejected, this left me hurt and wondering what was wrong with me and if i was not attractive enough. However, I came to a realization that I needed help, I needed to rebuild myself, pamper myself, basically making a better me, I dont need someone to make me happy. All I needed was to learn to love myself.. and I still am to this day. Being single has influenced me to learn to become a better me and to love myself. I had also learned that I have relationship anxiety, so I need this time to myself. I am thankful for being single, it has opened my eyes.
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