I just want to feel happy again?
Okay I really do not like using the word hate, but I really am hating my life right now. It all revolves around school. I'm currently 21 years and in my fourth year of college, so I should be happy to be almost done and graduating right? Wrong. Last semester, I finally got the courage to apply to my school's nursing program (the school I had attended for the past 3 years). When I got the rejection letter, I felt empty inside and didn't talk to anyone about it for at least a week (and I still don't like to talk about it). And on top of all of this, my parents thought it was a good idea to just drop everything and move to Texas. They also started to apply to schools for me because I refused to do so. It seemed like they were so happy that I didn't get in to my first and only choice and that I could go live with them in Texas. No offense or anything, but Texas is not and will never be my home; California is where I grew up and plan on living for the rest of my life. Anyways, apparently I got into this new school's nursing program and even though this sounds bad and selfish, but I was hoping that I wouldn't get in so that I could go back home and study somewhere else. To be honest, if I'm really in this much mental pain, I don't know if coming out here to finish my degree is really worth it. And I know this sounds cliche but I feel like my family doesn't really understand what it's like for me right now. They basically tell me to "get over it".
I constantly feel so irritated around them and everyone and I cry almost every night and even catch myself crying at random times during the day. All I want to do is go home where I feel comfortable and continue schooling there. :((
I also feel like I have no where to go here. I don't want to stay at my apartment because I have no friends but I also don't want to stay at my parents' house because it isn't my home.
Hi there @Miriamwilson
I don't want to be accused of stating the blummin obvious, but you have an awful lot going on right now! The final year of your course, applying for the next step, a rejection, your parents moving states, perhaps feeling powerless or unheard as they apply for things on your behalf. So I think it's forgiveable to feel a little overwhelmed at times, don't you?
Your parents sound to be either controlling, or caring. Or maybe both. But at least they've put in applications for things you've expressed an interest in. Is it possible for you to gain your nursing qualification in Texas, and then use it to work in California? You're at a time in your life where the world really can be your oyster.....but it does mean making a few decisions right now to support you in the future. Could it be a case of short term pain for long term gain?
Perhaps it's time to have an honest conversation with your parents about what you would like from them, and what you wouldn't. Just so they're clear on where the boundaries are. But just as you want them to respect you and your wishes, also try and understand they will wish to be heard too. I hope you can work out your differences, and that your future is golden :)
