I'm an idiot. I feel like such a [expletive deleted] idiot.
Nine years...Nine [expletive deleted] years I wasted trying to get into the Air Force.
Nine years wasted hoping I could get to Japan.
Well,The Air Force is out,and Japan now has a 99% chance of getting nuked for the third [expletive deleted] time in it's history.
I should've known better.
The way I see it now,Japan is five kinds of [expletive deleted],they are doomed,they are condemned,and they have no hope.
North Korea WILL nuke them,no doubt,full stop.
I..I wasted my time for nothing.
I stressed myself out over nothing.
I wanted to commit suicide over nothing.
Japan is just [expletives deleted].
Why did I waste my time thinking I could EVER go there?
It was never going to work...I should've known that much from when the JET program rejected me.
I guess I was never meant to go to Japan.
Japan may be doomed,but nevertheless,may god have mercy on her and her people.
And may god have mercy on me for being such a stupid fool.
May god forgive me for being stupid and chasing the impossible.
May god forgive me for being a [expletive deleted] idiot.
@ADX98927
You sound frustrated and angry -- and from what you said in your post I get it. You have a dream, you determined one route that would make it a reality - focused on it - and it didn't reach the result you were looking for.
Take a deep breathe and regroup -- you are not an idiot - you're a dreamer!
Take another deep breathe and regroup -- you can still dream of going to Japan and start looking for other ways to go!
Are you fluent in Japanese? If so, I've seen posting seeking people to teach Japanese citizens to speak English. They pay for you to come, they give you a stipend for housing and food -- you just have to commit to spending X amount of time being an instructor.
Don't give up on your dream of going to Japan.... it may not be what happens this very minute both of you do still have a future. It may not feel like it right now -- but you can still work to go there. Look at other opportunities to get you there.
Ever checked to see if the Peace Corp sends people there?
Ever checked to see what jobs might be available there and see if you could get a work visa?
There is more than one way to the Island of the Rising Sun. Pause, take break, think, build a game plan -- you'll get there, if that's what you really want.
I now wonder if there is any point in liking anything Japanese.
I now wonder if there is a point in being interested in Japan.
I now wonder if there is a point in even going to Japan.
Japan is a doomed fucking country,and if it were up to me,I would've put a travel ban on the place.
Our leaders are all to happy to sacrfice the Japanese and Japan.
Japan is fucked. They're fucked five million ways to friday. Full stop.
God help them all.
And again,I'm a fucking idiot for EVER being enamored with them.
Fuck everything.
Just fuck every fucking thing.
Fuck this fucking life where not a fucking thing can go right.
Fuck it all.
Fuck my damn life.
@ADX98927 I had to edit your post due to the expletives in it. But I didn't remove the entire post because I want your feelings to be heard. If you choose to respond to any of the posts in your thread, please just be careful to leave out the naughty words!
I hope you start feeling better soon. It sounds like you're in a lot of pain.
