I need help.

Hello, I really don’t know how to open up anymore but I constantly feel like I need help. I can’t take anyone’s burdens anymore , I can’t take more than what I have on my plate... why did they leave me? I ask myself. When I look back to my both ex’s , my ex guy best friend, my ex best friend. They all did me wrong and I had to cut them off bc they were too toxic. Ik y’all are going to say here you said it yourself they were toxic but tbh I feel like I’m what’s wrong maybe I was pathetic maybe I was the toxic one. Ever since they walked away I started to help a lot of people like I had a small business and I was able to listen to people talk about their stories and I always try to give them the best advices. I really took the time of my to help others it was spiritual thing but then I stopped and quit because I felt like it started to become unhealthy for me because I wasn’t taking care of myself and I constantly kept draining myself like this world the only thing that mattered me. After I quit I noticed how depressed I got and I guess all this time I was trying to fill up the void with everything else and I really put myself on the back burner. I feel so alone and nobody gets me. I’m sad deep down and I hate when others perceive me as a very strong person who can fight anything. nobody seems to care even my own family they expect me to get my shit together cuz I’m almost 20. Sometimes I feel like I’m a bad person and I hate myself. What the hell did I do to deserve this?.. where did I go wrong.